The Three T's of Victory
by Alulim
Summary: Terror: Something that must be overcome to be victorious. Triumph: When you attain victory there is nothing else. Trap: Umm, something to watch out for...? Shirou, please be careful.
1. Chapter 1

Well, this was an idea that just refused to leave my head. This doesn't mean that I've stopped working on my other stories, just that I needed to get this out before it rotted a hole in my head. Really, despite its serious moments, and it will have some, this is a crack-fic at heart. So, just read it and have fun.

**Disclaimer:** I cannot be held responsible for any questioning of your sexual orientation that may originate from reading this fic.

**The Three T's of Victory: Terror, Triumph, and…Trap?**

The moon was beautiful tonight.

Even as I crashed through the shattered mess that used to be a window of my house, my mind was working in overdrive.

Mother did warn me that if I stayed up too late I would end up being chased by a strangely dressed man trying to pierce me with his throbbing, engorged spear. Admittedly that was after she tried to send me to school in a ballroom gown that one time, but the point still stood.

Somehow Iri was _always_ right…at least when she wasn't using me as a dress-up doll. Despite being dead for years I can still vividly imagine her telling me _"I told you so~" _with her beatific smile. And now all because I stayed late to help out a friend at school some crazed superhuman was trying to kill me.

Again.

I should probably reconsider my list of friends should I somehow survive all of this.

My back hitting the lawn stopped these thoughts in their tracks; I instinctively curled up and rolled in an attempt to lessen the damage from the impact. Without sparing even a moment for my spine to stop hurting I turned and swung the shinai held in my grasp in a wide arc behind me.

A loud noise indicating the clash of metal rang throughout the otherwise silent night. The bamboo of the shinai split open to reveal a dense metal pole underneath.

Yet more proof that Taiga, the owner of this thing, was insane.

After deflecting his thrust my assailant hesitated just long enough for me to turn and dash the twenty meters towards the shed that had become my workshop. There had to be something there that would allow me to combat this creep.

Mother always told me that there was nothing worse than a persistent man. I was beginning to see what she meant.

"_Fly."_

The man quickly executed a roundhouse kick that impacted my back and sent me flying. The angle of the kick flipped me over in the air, my head facing the ground. My back impacted a hard concrete wall, knocking the breath out of me and forcing me to drop my improvised weapon. It seemed that, despite the rough trip, I managed to make it to my destination, the shed.

Through my blurred vision I saw that the man was casually walking towards me, lance in hand. His seeming lack of care would have been insulting, had I not been in such pain.

This was it. I was definitely going be killed if I didn't do something. I could not die now…I had a promise that I had to keep at all costs.

Without warning the lance thrust toward me at a terrifying speed. Luckily for me my knees collapsed, my body hitting the ground. The spear went over my head and opened the shed door instead of impaling me like a Shirou-kabob.

Taking the chance I dashed into the shed on all fours, hopefully one of my alchemical projects could help me. Desperate times called for desperate measures, no?

"_Here, this is it!"_

The man clad in blue grinned savagely as he thrust his lance toward me once again, this time I had no way of escaping. My hands blindly grabbing for anything to help, I managed to grab a stoppered beaker full of a purple viscous liquid. Without thinking twice I swung it towards the incoming weapon, hoping for a miracle.

The ensuing explosion nearly ripped the spear from the man's hands, causing him to stagger backwards. The sheer force of it also flung me to the far wall, as well as embedding shards of the glass beaker in my right arm.

Of course, despite saving my life, the sudden conflagration didn't exactly boost my confidence in my alchemy skills, considering that nothing in the shed was supposed to be volatile after the stray dog incident last year. Taiga nearly forbade me from coming in here ever again after that fiasco.

After getting my bearings I looked up at the man, I discovered that he had recovered from the explosion and was grinning at me. Pointing his spear at me, the blue-clad man seemed to chuckle.

"_Checkmate. That was a pretty surprising move there kid."_

My consciousness began to blur, I guess it had to be the blood-loss from the glass in my arm. The man began saying something that I couldn't quite make out. But I didn't care…I was going to die; there was only that one truth. The spear honed in on my heart, in my eyes it was nothing but a red streak in the air. I couldn't hope to counter what I couldn't see.

_I will die._

_I will die._

_I will die without fulfilling my oath._

_I cannot die._

_I cannot die._

_I cannot die without fulfilling my oath._

But there was no doubt that I would perish here, in this ramshackle shed, without accomplishing anything. This I could not accept, dying twice in one day…I could not accept this as truth. I _would not_ accept this as truth. This abhorrent fate, I would crush. Someone like you…would not kill me!

A clash of metal followed by a blinding white light stifled my thoughts. A figure standing in front of me, sword in hand, had blocked the spearman's blow. The man exclaimed his surprise, but the words were lost in the swirling winds caused by the figure's appearance.

The person, I assumed it was a girl, had a head full of pink hair, save for a single lock of white upon her forehead, which went down her back in a braid held together by a black ribbon. From the angle I sat I was able to see that she was wearing a lustrous white cape, fur lining the neck, which went down to her thighs. A shifting of the cape granted me a glimpse of silver plate armor on her hips, with a short chain mail skirt sticking out from underneath. A white scabbard hung from her belt, obviously meant for the sword she was holding, with what looked like a black ram's horn adorning the opposite side. Her hands were sheathed in a pair of bright silver gauntlets with gold trimmings, while the sword held within their grasp had a guard that resembled a bird in flight.

It was a stunning sight.

A clash of weapons sounded in the shed once more, the sparks lighting up the night. The spearman jumped out of the shed, reeling in shock at the sudden appearance of my savior. Upon seeing the enemy retreat the figure turned to me, sword still in hand. As I slowly raised my head, the first thing that caught my attention was the silver eagle buckle on her belt, followed by the golden lion (or was it a griffon?) inscribed on her breastplate.

Upon reaching her face, however, all those previous observations became meaningless. The skin was without blemish, the eyes a pale blue-green. Her round cheeks gave a feeling of youthful impishness, and yet I could sense steel behind that expression. With a grin the girl asked me a question that would change my life forever.

"Hey, are you by any chance my Master?"

…Huh?

Before this astounding question could even sink in the armored girl continued.

"Well, I suppose you have to be. You are the only one here after all. Not counting the…umm, pervert in the cat suit over there of course." She turned to face said 'pervert'. "In fact let's not count him at all, he is probably compensating for something with that spear of his. It even has veins on it! Gross. Who would make such a weird thing? Wait, I _really_ don't want to know. I don't mean to insult you with any of this Mr. Spear man…it is just that you are kinda creeping me out. Sorry."

W-who was this person? She was the same type of being as the one outside…yet her attitude was completely different.

Ignoring, or probably just oblivious to, the slowly rising levels of anger in the spearman the girl placed a hand on her hip while pointing her sword at him. "I am Servant Rider, and obviously you must be Servant Lancer. Shall we begin?"

What had I gotten myself into?

**The Three T's of Victory**

Without hesitation the girl leaped out of the shed towards the spearman, the force of her takeoff stirring up the dust and debris on the floor. Using the momentum of her flying body Rider brought her sword down in an overhead swing, attempting to cleave newly identified Lancer's head in two. The blow was easily deflected by the spearman, but his counterattack was deflected just as easily.

The two super-humans seemed evenly matched. Lancer was faster to be sure, but Rider kept on dodging the blows just at the right moment, as well as taking advantage of any openings the spearman had. It seemed like any time Rider was about to be impaled Lancer would stumble on an otherwise unnoticeable part of the terrain; something I doubted was normal considering his skill. Was it just really good luck on Rider's part, or was it some kind of magecraft?

Despite this happening right in front of me I simply couldn't believe it. Just…what are these people? Their movements were way beyond what a human can accomplish. First there was the man in red fighting this Lancer at the school, and now this Rider girl joins in. Their armor and weaponry looked like something straight out of one of the historical dramas that Sakura was so fond of, yet this was so much more…authentic? Real? Life threatening?

All of the above.

Sparks lit up the clouded night once more. The clashing of weapons reverberated throughout the otherwise silent yard. Despite both fighters exerting what must be a vast amount of energy it seemed like the fight was getting more intense by the minute, each blow more powerful than the last. But even with both fighters giving it their all, only relatively minor wounds were inflicted on each other. A gash to Lancer's forearm, a cut on Rider's leg, and countless more… Yet they all looked to be only flesh wounds, none of them hindering the combatants one bit.

I wondered if any of the neighbors were hearing this…

Somehow the petit girl managed to put the Lancer on the defensive, driving him, slowly but surely, into a corner. Agitation was clear on the man's face, his teeth grinding against each other.

"You think your tiny sword can stand up to my lance? You are not even of the Saber class." The man in blue gestured his head towards my position in the shed. "Plus your master is as thick as manure and only half as useful, he is just sitting there with his jaw open like a fool. You can't be getting a lot of prana from him; he even summoned you through a fluke!"

T-that was totally uncalled for!

"Don't insult my Master like that!"

Immediately after coming to my defense Rider increased her pace, her thin sword becoming a blur as it attempted to perforate the spearman. Under the unexpected assault Lancer was forced to jump back in retreat, landing a few meters away. After recovering from the strain the man relaxed his stance, leaning upon his spear as if it was a walking stick he addressed Rider casually.

"How about this, do you want to call it even?"

The unexpected question stopped Rider in her tracks.

"It's not a bad deal, right? Your Master is hopelessly lost and it so happens that mine is a coward. I think it would better for both of us if we hold off on this match until we are better prepared."

Rider stroked her chin in thought. Taking a sidelong glance at me she answered the spearman hesitantly.

"Though you have gravely insulted my Master and my own skills…I am forced to accept your proposal. I am still disoriented from my own summoning and my master appears to be unknowledgeable of his role here." Waving her sword at the lounging Lancer, Rider started fuming, her now cherry-red face seemingly glowing with embarrassment. "D-don't get me wrong, I am only letting you go because you gave me a good fight! W-we will have our rematch, and I will come out victorious! You will grovel at my feet, you overcompensating pervert!"

Lancer snorted, his shoulders shacking with poorly concealed laughter. "I'm looking forward to it, boya." Before Rider could get a word in edgewise the spearman vanished over the wall in a leap, leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

The girl sheathed her sword with a clack. "Tch, he has Disengage. How…unexpected. I was hoping to get the general direction of his base, but that is not to be I suppose." Rubbing her head in agitation, she turned to me. And in a blink of an eye Rider was in my face, patting my body down for injuries.

"Master, are you okay? Did he hurt you? Are you in any pain? How are your prana levels? How many fingers am I holding up? Are you hungry?"

I sat there amazed. This was simply too much to take in all at once. The warrior girl's questions went right over my head, only her concern for my safety managed to pierce my addled brain. That, and the fact that she saved my life from the blue spearman known as Lancer, kept me from freaking out at her sudden proximity.

"Ah! Your arm's bleeding! Look at all that glass! Can you feel your fingers? Ho-"

I placed my hand over her mouth to stop her questions; my experience in dealing with Iri taught me that if I didn't she would probably continue on endlessly. "I'm…fine, just confused. And anyway, shouldn't you be more concerned about your own injuries? We need to-huh?"

Wait…they're gone! The wounds were gone? I did not see her cast any healing magics, and yet those wounds just vanished. Her white cape, which was once in tatters, is whole again…along with the rest of her outfit. How did this come to be?

Everything about this girl was absurd. She was a dangerous existence. Iri did warn me that if I ever saw medieval knights running around the city that I should steer clear, but I always thought that it was simply one of her jokes. I never could have imagined something like this.

"Just who…are you?" Even while saying that I slowly started reaching for another beaker just incase that this 'Rider' turned out to be hostile (I admit the possibility of that was quite low given her concern for my well-being, but Mother always told me to never take any chances). Though a repeat performance of what happened with the spearman will probably end up doing more damage than this girl would.

I just never learned, did I?

She must have found my befuddled expression humorous as laughter resembling chiming bells rippled from her throat, shocking me out of my thoughts. "I am a Servant, these wounds were quite minor and it took naught but a moment to regenerate. Now to answer your question," she coughed into her fist, clearing her throat in an overly dramatic manner, "I am Servant Rider, summoned forth to fight in the Holy Grail War. The details are a little hazy, since the summoning was apparently, well, botched. But I do know the winner gets a wish. Although this is far from ideal…you my master and we will fight together in this battle royale, yes?"

…Servant Rider? Master? Wish? _The_ Holy Grail? And what was this about a war? What was she talking about?

I was about to vocalize my questions when Rider stiffened and glanced over her shoulder at the yard's dividing wall. "It seems like the rest of the formalities, such as asking your name, will have to wait, we have visitors." Her formerly jovial expression shifted into an emotionless mask, completely unsuitable for a pretty girl like herself if I could say so. "Two enemies, one Servant accompanied by what is most likely its Master. In my current condition I should have no problem dealing with them."

She stood up and unsheathed her sword once more, after making a few practice swings she dashed out of the shed and disappeared over the wall.

There were enemies outside, not a good scenario for sure. That girl just fought that monstrous spearman moments ago and now she was going to fight again? Her saying that she was unharmed was a blatant lie. With that limp, it was obvious to anyone that she was favoring her left leg. She was probably far more powerful that I would ever be, but I couldn't just let a girl run off and get herself killed. I may not have been a hero, but there were a few things that I simply couldn't overlook.

A girl in trouble was definitely one of them.

Ignoring the pain in my arm, I ran to the gate at full force. After fumbling with the lock I managed to get it open and I sprinted out onto the street. Panting in an attempt to catch my breath I stared at the scene in front of me, my mind not processing what I saw.

The man in red who was fighting Lancer at the school was now fighting Rider, their swords nothing but streaks in the night. The swordsman was slowly gaining ground on Rider, whose leg caused her to stumble under an overarm strike from the opposing Servant. However, the swing left a split second where there was an opening in the man's stance. In that instant Rider managed to get inside that man's guard and swung her sword at his exposed torso, surprising even me with the sudden burst of speed.

A powerful spell was cast; the man vanished before the sword could eviscerate him, Rider's blade passed harmlessly through the empty air. This did not seem to faze the armored girl as she just continued onward towards the second figure.

The magus.

While I may not have been a magus myself, (Strictly speaking I was an alchemist, and we didn't rely on magical circuits to do our works.) I was well aware of the danger they posed. Yet I somehow had a feeling that whatever power the magus held would fall short of what this girl, my 'Servant', had.

A spell was fired, but before it could make contact Rider pulled out a book from somewhere and swung it at the black sphere. The book, a leather-bound thing with western-style letters inscribed on the spine in a language that I knew wasn't English, easily deflected the spell, sending it flying off into the night sky. The whole thing reminded me of a baseball batter hitting a home run.

"It isn't the proper way to use this…but I like hitting things better," Rider said with a smirk.

Such a high-level spell cast in a mere instant, not even a first-class magus could manage that…and a book deflected it. Rider merely swatted something that would likely kill many a man away as if it were a mere annoyance. The natural order of things had been thrown all out of whack.

The figure of the magus stumbled backwards after seeing its spell fly off into the sky, falling to the ground with an audible thud.

Rider continued on towards the magus; hand on the pommel of her sheathed sword. I was about to call out to her when I saw something that made me freeze. The moon came out from behind the clouds once again, lighting up the scene. The figure of the magus lying on the ground, in what I suppose is a state of shock, was one I recognized very well.

Tohsaka Rin.

She was the school's idol…along with being someone that I simply could never get along with. She always had something hidden that constantly set me on edge …I guess I know what that is now. She was a magus. Issei would never know how close he was to the truth when he called her a witch earlier today.

I could appreciate the irony, even in a situation like this.

While I sat there, frozen in a stupor, Rider had covered the distance between the two of them and prepared to swing her weapon. I was going to yell at Rider to stop, but my voice stuck in my throat. All I could do was brace myself for the inevitable bloodbath.

And then head met book.

Rider thwacked Tohsaka over the head with the heavy-looking book, knocking her out. The once proud girl crumpled to the ground, lying there in a heap.

Just…what?

Oblivious to my incredulous gaze Rider pointed at the unconscious body of Tohsaka and grinned, obviously quite pleased with herself. "To the victor go the spoils!"

Why me?

_[Break]_

Well, there you go, the latest story from the deer. A Shirou raised by Irisviel von Einzbern summons Astolfo, the decidedly _male_ Servant from Apocrypha, and chaos ensues. Bonds between friends will be tried, patience will be gauged, and sexual orientation stretched to its limit. So now you all know that 'Trap' was doing in the summary.

...and now back to VARDANT.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, here is the next chapter...finally. This was written in small bits over the months...so I hope it all fits together well. I have been assured that it does, but I still worry.

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Chapter 2  
><em>

"_Let the yonder curtain rise! The audience will tremble with delight and anticipation! Oooh, isn't it wonderful? Isn't it grand? All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players!"_

"_Let the first act commence!"_

**The Three T's of Victory**

Within a dark, damp room a single golden light stood out among the filth, a shining figure stood at its center. A single young girl looked upon the visage of the majestic woman as a beacon of hope among endless despair.

"I ask of you, are you my-!"

-only for that hope to be smothered by the darkness that surrounded her once again.

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Come on Saber, it's not that bad!"

"But Mast-" _"Call me Ilya!"_ "-Ilya, everyone is staring…"

A bronze-skinned giant sat hunched over in - what was to him - an undersized airplane seat, the buttons on his butler suit stressed to their breaking point. His sheer size, causing him to assume the fetal position to even fit within the cramped cabin, brought more than a few stares.

"Are you sure that this is the best method of travel? Back in my day, flight was solely within the purview of the gods. And we all know what happened to Icarus…"

The target of his woes, a bright pixie of a girl sitting next to him in a not-undersized airplane seat, merely huffed at his complaints.

"Heracles stop your moaning this instant, this is the fastest way to get to Japan. After all, we gotta go get the super-ultra-special-secret present that Momma promised me!" At this the girl started waving around a tattered slip of paper. "She said that it was at this address! I cannot wait any longer, and your complaints are not making us get there any quicker!"

"But..."

"No buts!"

The giant's form seemed to slouch, even though it was impossible for him to lean over any more that he already had, before suddenly perking up as if he had an epiphany. "Hey, speaking of butts, where is Sella…or Leysritt for that matter? I haven't seen them since we left the airport."

In response to the massive man's inquiry the little girl let out an innocent-sounding chuckle. "Oh, don't worry about them. They are in the cargo bay down below, with the rest of the luggage."

The giant called Heracles' form seemed to slouch again. This girl had something very wrong with her head.

**The Three T's of Victory**

All I could do was stare at the unconscious body of Tohsaka lying on the bed. After I finally managed to convince Rider that I was not going to _'deflower her by right of conquer'_ I put my classmate to rest in one of the guest rooms, I couldn't just leave her out on the street after all. Though I did worry that the man in red would come for her…taking her in the house was probably a bad idea in retrospect. Thankfully the bounded field around the house would alert me to his presence so I could at least be aware if he showed up.

"Are you sure we can't at least bind her hands?" A voice from behind me sounded.

I turned my head to Rider, who was standing over my shoulder, and gave her a dry look. "This is the third time you asked me that in the past five minutes. Can you please give it a rest already?" The excitable girl's insistence that I tie Tohsaka up was starting to get on my nerves. And just how did she know traditional shibari anyway? Rider didn't look like she has even a shred of Japanese heritage.

"Of course I won't. She is spoils of war; shouldn't we at least make sure she doesn't escape?" After saying that Rider paused for a moment, hand stroking her chin, and gave me a sly look. For some inexplicable reason shivers started going down my spine. "Unless…unless Master gets off from the thrill of the chase? Don't worry, that is actually not that uncommon. Why, back in my day there were many-"

"Rider! Quiet, she is waking up"

True to my words, Rin was stirring on the bed. Rubbing her eyes and mumbling she rose upright, letting the blanket fall off her torso. Her hair was mussed up, despite it being fine not five minutes ago, and her shoulders slouched lazily giving her a slovenly appearance. Looking at Rider and me with dull eyes she said the last thing that I expected.

"…What are you two doing in my house? And where's Archer? Tell him that I want tea."

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland_

A dark-skinned man in dressed in red sat atop a hill looking over a small, yet strangely colourful, village. With fists clenched and teeth grinding his aggravation was shown to all who were near…or it would be if anyone were nearby. "Dammit Rin, you goofed up big time. The command was to 'get away from that Servant', and well…I got away. I _sure _got away. But…"

"_**Where the hell am I?!"**_

**The Three T's of Victory**

One good thing that I could say about these events so far is that I now have enough material to blackmail Tohsaka for life. Mother always told me that you never know when something like blackmail will come in handy. When Rin first awoke she was a complete mess. I don't think that she even realized that she wasn't in her own home until I pointed it out.

She, predictably, had a fit. I had to order Rider to restrain Tohsaka before she started shooting that spell of hers around. Something that the Servant seemed all too pleased to do.

With the raging magus pacified – and by pacified I mean tied spread-eagle to each of the bed posts with ropes conjured from beneath my Servant's skirt – I was able to gather my thoughts. There was some information that I needed to extract from my now bound classmate.

_"Shape Ist Leben."_

As I whispered the incantation taught to me by my mother a thin wire wound its way out of my pocket, wrapping the entirety of my right arm in overlapping crisscross patterns. Unlike the one who taught me this brand of alchemy, I was unable to create even the simplest of pseudo-homunculi. All I could do was use my own body to give shape to the construct - enhancing my physical strength by having the wires act as external muscles - completely bastardizing Irisviel's technique.

"I'm an alchemist and I know that you're a magus, we can do away with the formalities. Tell me what the hell is going on, or I will…_remove_your magic crest. Your choice." To better illustrate my point, I moved my enhanced arm to the section of her left forearm that was glowing noticeably even through her sleeve. I was bluffing, I actually abhor senseless violence, but she needn't know that. All our prior encounters had been…confrontational at best, so I have done nothing to make her suspect otherwise.

Irisviel had taught me the importance of magic crests. To most magi, their crest was more important than their own lives…and almost certainly the lives of anyone - and everyone - else on the planet. My contempt for those that call themselves magi…that would have to be the one thing that I inherited from a father that I never met. Not at all what Iri wanted for me, but it can't be helped. Those people and their horrid research, they are better off not existing at all.

A bit hypocritical, considering that I did quite a bit of research as well, but at least I had human morals.

As if sensing the souring of my mood Tohsaka barked out a laugh. "Hah, there are times where I want to cut my own arm off, so you might be doing me a favor. Besides, you wouldn't go through with it anyway. I saved your life you know." The bound girl grinned like the cat that caught the canary. "You. Owe. Me."

Wait…what? Could it be because of _her_ that I survived my first encounter with that spandex-wearing maniac? Dammit, she's right, I _do_owe her. I may not like magi, but I am not so lost in my hatred that I can't be grateful to someone who saved my life. Taking my still-enhanced arm I tore the ropes binding her limbs, freeing the grinning girl. Rider, still standing behind me, made a protesting noise, but I motioned for her to remain silent.

Rubbing her chafed wrists with that horrid shit-eating grin still adorning her face, Tohsaka continued. "So Shirou, may I call you Shirou? Let us hammer out the terms of our alliance, shall we? Oh, and I need to thank you for your _wonderful_hospitality."

Accepting my impeding demise, I merely sighed.

**The Three T's of Victory**

After bidding my new ally a reluctant good night I turned back into the house and rubbed a newly acquired bruise on my neck. Tohsaka is not someone who I wanted to spend a lot of time around. She'd destroy me the moment I said anything that annoyed her. After revealing how much of a failure I was at my chosen field she hit me to vent her frustration and then left in a huff. She didn't even repair the damage to the house like she said she would.

Issei was right…again, that girl was a devil. I would treat anything that comes out of his mouth from now on, no matter how farfetched, as fact.

So…seven Masters and seven Servants all fighting for a single wish. What a ridiculous ritual these magi have set up. There's no telling how many innocent people will be caught up in this war between heroes of ages past. And while I have no interest in the grail or any wish that comes from it, I am not selfish enough to deny my Servant hers. Despite not knowing how, I was the one who summoned Rider, the least I can do to make up for being summoned by someone as weak as me is do my best at winning this. I owe her that much, she had saved my life as well. And who knows what some of those magi would do with the grail should they win, the carelessness with which they treat others makes me worry.

I may not like it, but it looked like I had a reason to fight in this ridiculous battle.

Sitting against the wall of the foyer I felt the exhaustion of the day overcome me. Tohsaka said that the first thing that I should do is visit the church to register myself and my Servant, it seems like the priest there is the moderator for this thing. Strange, considering the church's relationship with magi, but what do I know? Although I was tired, it would be best to not put this off for later.

Picking up the old book Tohsaka tossed at me before leaving, something she told me that I may need if I was indeed such a failure, I put on my shoes and went out the door. Waiting for me outside was Rider, who upon seeing me, rushed over. Her impatience showing, she was literally bouncing on the balls of her feet. I didn't even know it was possible to do so in heavy steel-toed boots.

"Ah, you are finally out, I was lonely here all alone. I saw that brat leave, she seemed angry. Did she do anything to you? Ah, your neck! She hit you didn't she? I knew that I shouldn't have left you two alone, I should have been there to stop her. I know keeping watch for anyone who might have been attracted by the battle here was a good idea…but still I-" Bopping her on the top of the head in order to make her take a breath, I simply chuckled at her energetic rant. I have to admit, her strange and excitable personality is starting to grow on me.

"Rider, we have an errand to run. We have to register at the church. Apparently it's to let them know which Servants have been summoned. Although I really don't want to go there, it is out of my hands." I scratched the back of my head; there was a small problem that needed to be addressed first. "You kind of stick out, both your clothes and features are not common to this area, so just walking there is out. Is there any way for you to hide that armor of yours? We can deal with the attention if people think that you are just a foreigner."

"Ah, no problem~!" With a practiced pirouette Rider spun around on her heel, her armor, cape, and weaponry disappearing in a rain of light particles. What was left behind was a leather tunic that went down to her waist where her hunting horn was attached to her ornate red belt. Her chainmail skirt remained, coming out from underneath the tunic. Rider's gauntlets had vanished, leaving her forearms bare, with her chainmail poking out from her tunic's sleeves. Her thigh-highs and her boots had remained as well.

The overall impression was as if she was some kind of ninth-century schoolgirl. Needless to say, it would attract just as much attention as the armor.

"…Really? Bah, it'll have to do. Let's just get going, I want to get this unpleasantness over with as soon as possible." In the end I couldn't bring myself to try to fix this problem, my impatience overriding my desire to stay under the radar.

And so we left, to the place that held all too many unpleasant memories: The Kotomine Church.

_[Break]_

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Extras:_

Class: Rider

Master: Shirou Emiya (von Einzbern)

True Name: No Data

Sex: Yes

Height/Weight: 160cm/50kg

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Strength: D

Mana: D

Endurance: E

Agility: B

Luck: A+

N. Phantasm: C

**Class Skills**:

Magic Resistance: C

-Cancels spells with a chant below two verses.-

Riding: A++

-Even holy mysteries can be ridden.-

**Personal Skills**:

Charisma: C

-Rider's beauty and charm were well known and there were plenty amongst the peoples that sought this Servant's hand.-

Départ de L'immortalité: Ex

-As Rider is famous for killing one who could not die, damage against those with the gift of immortality is increased.-

No Data: X

**Noble Phantasms**:

La Black Luna, [The Magic Flute That Calls Panic]: C

-No information.-

Le Livre Brisé, [The Magic Book That Breaks Enchantment]: C+

-Within this tome lie spells that are reputed to be able to break any enchantment. Over the years, the power of these spells has leaked into the bindings, causing this book to have its own form of Magic Resistance. This Noble Phantasm is enough to qualify the Servant for the Caster class.-

No Further Data, incomplete…

**Authors Note: **Aaaand, we're done! Archer got lost and now has to depend on his Independent Action to return to Rin (unless she command seals him back). Shirou is heading to the church. Which, for some reason, he knows all too well. And Rider has a magical-girl transformation~ Also, the reason that Shirou believed Rin when she said that she saved him is because the only ones who would know about that encounter were the ones that were there.

Originally this story was going to be a oneshot, but I was convinced to write more by a few friends (before the story was even posted here). Hopefully the chapters mesh together. Well, my worrying won't get me anywhere...so see you next time.

**AN7-19-2012:** Well, I edited the first and second chapter a bit, cleaning up a few things. Of course, FFN is being strange again. Making the word-count go down by 500 words for an unknown reason, so I hope nothing is broken up or missing.


	3. Chapter 3

So, I heard you liek chapterz~

Well, I wanted to get this out before inspiration dried up. So don't go expecting another chapter so soon again. I thank Hymn for beta'ing this. I have a problem with my tenses apparently, so he helped me fix some of that~

**The Three T's of Victory**

I was dreaming. I was dreaming a dream of days long past, of opportunities lost, and people dead.

I dreamt of a young boy, lying with his head in a woman's lap, watching fireworks from a riverbank. I dreamt of a beautiful woman, sitting on a riverbank, watching a young boy rest his head in her lap. The woman's hand was stroking the white hair of the young boy affectionately, her own similarly colored hair waving in the summer breeze. The pair, parent and child, were surrounded by flashing fireflies, lighting up their pale faces with each short-lived burst.

"Shirou, mama's not going to be around forever you know. There is something that I want you to always remember, even if you forget me."

Sitting up from the woman's lap, the young boy seemed confused. Why was his mother talking like this? He could never forget her! She was the one that saved him that day; he could never forget someone who saved his life!

The woman's hand gently pushed him back down into her lap, calming the boy down with its gentle ministrations.

"Hehe, thanks. That's sweet of you. But all memories fade with time, there might be a day where you realize that you don't even remember my face. This is something natural, so you don't have to feel bad about it. While we experience new things, the old things just fade away. This is the way of the world."

Sitting up from the woman's lap once again, the boy, clad in a yukata blue as the ocean spray, looked up towards the woman with confusion in his eyes. Stroking the child's hair once again, the woman, clad in a dress black as a starless night, looked up towards the moonless sky with unshed tears in her eyes. She smiled a sad smile, as if reliving bittersweet memories.

"This is the one thing I want you to keep close to your heart Shirou: All creatures have a right to life. No matter how large or small, the greatest wish of a living creature is to be born. You, me, the insects beneath out feet, we're all the same. All life is precious."

The boy nodded. Of course, that is common sense. Life is a gift, one that should be protected.

"Good, I am glad you understand. Mama is so proud of her kind boy.

So proud…"

This…this dream is strange. What am I seeing, these aren't my memories. Where are the fireflies? Where are the fireworks? Something is wrong with the boy. Something is wrong with the woman. Something is wrong with the world. Something is wrong with the world.

Wait…why is the woman looking at me, I-

"_Good evening."_

**The Three T's of Victory**

The streets were surprisingly empty, even for this time of night. The streetlamps, usually an ever-present sign of civilization, were all out, smothering the town in a blanket of impenetrable darkness. Even Rider, following behind me, seemed to sense something was strange and actually managed to keep quiet. The only sounds that broke the silence were that of our own footsteps on the street and the distant wail of the ceaseless city traffic. I supposed that it was a blessing that we didn't encounter anyone, given Rider's rather conspicuous outfit, but it still put me on edge.

Adding on to my unsettled feeling was the fact that I didn't want to go to the church in the first place. I _really_ held out hope that the priest has been replaced sometime since Iri's funeral. It had been years since I last saw Father Kotomine, but I felt that seeing him again now was far too soon to be good for my health.

Picking up on my sour mood, Rider decided to break the silence. Stopping in the middle of the suburb we were walking through, she tapped my shoulder hesitantly to inquire about my worries. Of course, given that Rider is Rider; she completely missed the reason for my concern. "Master, are you still worried about people seeing me? I…I can turn invisible if you want, all Servants have that ability. It will be a little more difficult than usual given the botched summoning, but there shouldn't be any problems with my astralization."

"Hmm?" Upon hearing this I stopped in my tracks. Turning to face Rider with a smile, I felt the need to _inquire_ about this new fact. What an _interesting_ little tidbit that this Servant has just told me. "Oh my my my. What do you mean by this? And why did you feel the need to wait until now to tell me? This would have come in handy when I was tearing my hair out about your clothing problems."

"Awawawawawawa…Master, your smile is scaring me." Waving her hands in front of her face, Rider stepped back with her left foot. Due to the fact that we were walking up a hill, it gave me even more of a height advantage over the petite Servant.

"I have no clue what you mean." Really, why was she backing away? I didn't understand. I mean, how could a smile be scary? "What were you thinking? These kinds of things are what I need to know the most if we want to survive this. Do I have to use a command seal to get you to start saying things that are actually useful?"

"Nononono, that is not necessary!" Cue more waving hands and backtracking. Her braid was whipping back and forth with the sheer speed that she shook her head. "It's just that you and that brat were taking too long discussing boring stuff that I…kinda…fell asleep? When you came out the door I had just woken up due to that brat's tantrum so I was still groggy and not thinking straight. And then there was that strange dream-"

"…Are you really a hero?" Was this little girl, who blabs out whatever is on her mind and falls asleep the moment I take my eyes off her, really the greatest humanity had to offer? Someone who sets an example for us, the modern people, to follow? Besides, could an incarnated spirit like her really even fall asleep?

Humankind as a species was doomed.

"O-of course I am a hero! I even managed to subdue a giant! A. Giant. He was all hairy and greasy and smelly and stuff, like all good giants should be! And he was subdued. By me. Heroes do things like that!" Rider was no longer retreating; she was busy stamping her feet in frustration instead. Her puffed cheeks and cute tantrum made it impossible to stay angry at her.

"Alright, alright already. I get it, you're a hero." Patting her on the top of the head I sighed. Turning on my heel, I started walking towards the direction to the church once again. "We are wasting time senselessly arguing here, it's already past one in the morning and we might wake someone up with the noise that we're making. Let's just get going to the church. Oh, and don't bother turning invisible now, we're practically there anyway."

"Why do I get the feeling that you don't believe me? Master…? Hey, wait up! Don't just leave me here in this creepy place after saying your piece! That's not fair!" Following after me, Rider continued to whine about my supposed disbelief.

As we left it behind, the unnatural silence of the night consumed the dark suburb once again.

**The Three T's of Victory**

The plateau that the church sat on was just as I remembered it, dark and gloomy. Though that probably had more to do with the time of day it was than the scenery. The building itself was rather impressive, with its trio of arches and stained glass windows making all feel welcomed. The lights on high up in the steeple gave the impression that a higher power was watching over you.

"Master, this place feels wrong. This is a place for the dead, not the living. There is no god here." Rider said this while trembling slightly. I understood why she was like that. For as long as I've known about this place, the church has always had a slight feeling of decay wafting around it. Normal people would probably not notice it, but anyone who could actually sense something beyond their own noses could feel the stench of death that permeated this supposed holy ground.

For those who were feeling it for the first time, coming from a church of all things, it might have been a little disquieting.

"I know Rider, I know. For now, just ignore it. That's just the way this place is." Striding forward, I pushed open the double doors that separated us from the church's interior. The chapel within was devoid of any worshippers, which was not surprising since it is so early in the morning. However, due to the lack of people one could see just how large this place was and how many people it could sit. There were four rows of pews that divided the floor into three pathways leading to the altar. Beginning to walk down the center one, I turned to Rider. "You coming?"

"Ah, o-of course Master." Closing the doors behind her Rider followed me to the altar. I know that it was bad manners to approach the altar when the priest wasn't here, but if the priest really was Kotomine…then he wouldn't care. Plus the altar wasn't really my destination; it was the private room in the back.

"Greetings. I apologize for not being able to receive you properly." A footstep. A tall man in robes befitting a priest appeared at the side of the altar, slowly exiting the doorway to the private room. Turning his head towards me, I saw, to my grief, that it was indeed Father Kotomine. His heavy presence permeating the chapel caused my Servant to twitch slightly, as if reaching for a weapon. "So you are the seventh one. I am Kirei Kotomine, the one entrusted with this church. On behalf of…"

He hesitated. Recognition filled his previously dull expression. A disgusting grin slowly split his face, as if my coming here was a pleasant surprise. Knowing him, it probably was.

"Ah, Einzbern, I almost didn't recognize you. You've dyed your hair. Hmm…red doesn't suit you." This man, he hadn't changed one bit. His voice, his attitude, his presence…it was all the same. This man that I never wished to see again smirked at my apparent dislike for him. After he basked in my distaste, he looked down at my hand and spotted my command seals. At this, his smirk grew into an outright grin. "So, it seems like you got yourself caught up in something interesting since I saw you last. A participant in the Holy Grail War, considering who raised you…I am not surprised."

"W-what do you mean? Irisviel had something to do with this insane ritual?" What was this guy saying? Someone like her was involved in this mess as well?

"The Holy Grail War is the farthest thing from insane, I assure you. The Holy Grail can grant you any wish, everything would be as you desire. It could even help you fulfill that promise of yours." H-how did he know about that? I never told anyone about the promise! "And as for your dear mother, she, alongside her husband, was the Master of Saber in the previous war. Due to a mistake made during the final battle, her husband died and she nearly fell along with him."

"How do you know all this?" I had to ask. I knew that he knew my mother even before these revelations, but still…this was too much. It seemed like my mother was once in a similar position as I was in now.

"My father was the mediator of the previous war ten years ago. After his unfortunate death, a casualty of the same war he was supervising, I have inherited his position and his knowledge." The priest sat down in an adjacent pew, folding his hands in his lap. He motioned for me to sit beside him. I acquiesced, but Rider remained standing. It seems she trusted Father Kotomine about as much as I did. "But we are getting off topic. Ah, before we go too deep in the details, may I ask who sent you here? Given that you have almost no knowledge about the War, someone must have pointed you in my direction."

"Ah, I encountered a magus named Rin Tohsaka. After our Servants fought a bit we ended up forming a tentative alliance." Or rather, she forced me into one. That stubborn girl just wouldn't let me go. Something about taking responsibility for her sudden – and temporary – lack of a Servant.

"…Tohsaka? I suppose I should thank her for sending you here, it's because of her that we have been reunited after all. Then again, she never answers my calls these days." Despite his dejected words, the priest did not sound put out at all.

"Wait, you know Tohsaka? Are you going to tell me that you are somehow related to every Master in this war?" Is knowing the priest some special condition to becoming a Master or something? With how crazy everything is turning out to be, I wouldn't be surprised.

"I studied under Rin Tohsaka's father, and after his death become her guardian. As for me knowing every Master in this war personally…there is only you, Rin, and the Master of Lancer. Before you ask, I cannot disclose his or her identity. Such things are kept in strict confidence. Besides, we are here for you, not to discuss the other Masters." The priest smirked and glanced at Rider, causing my Servant to jump at the sudden attention. "Since it was the only Servant left to be summoned, this must be Rider."

"Ah! Y-y-y-yes sir! S-servant Rider a-at your…umm…service!" Rider gave a nervous salute, surprised that the priest actually turned his focus off me long enough to register her presence.

"This one's quite a bit smaller than the last war's Rider. Let us hope for your sake that big things come in small packages." After saying his part, Kotomine turned back to me. It was as if my Servant was of no interest to him.

"Ah, huh?" At this sign of rejection, Rider went back into tantrum-mode. With all the puffed cheeks and stamping feet that it required. "W-what are you saying you fool? This Rider will be the one to win the war! I'll show you, I'll show you all! Hey, stupid priest! Stop ignoring me!"

"Father Kotomine, could you please not try to rile up my Servant?" I had to intervene before things got out of hand. Great, now she'll be complaining to me about this all the way home. The walk is long enough without someone nagging me all the way there.

"…Of course. I am assuming that Rin told you the basics of the war if she was the one to send you here. So, as you probably know, this is a war between seven Servants and seven Masters. It's a battle royal where the participants are putting their lives and honor on the line for the greatest of holy artifacts; the Holy Grail." Saying this, he stood up. He started walking around the edge of the pew, as if to circle around me, but was forced to stop due to the placement of the other pews. Surprisingly enough, he actually looked visibly annoyed at this. Like he was looking forward to something and was unable to do it.

How strange.

"Yes, Rin told me this. Those chosen by the Grail are marked with the command seals and thus have the right to summon a Servant. The Masters use their Servants to kill the other Servants…or the other Masters. The winner of this war gets the Holy Grail, and any wish it grants. But how do we know that this Grail is the real thing?" I mean, if the war is still going on, then nobody has even won it yet. How did we know that it was legit? The blessed cup that held the blood of Christ, was it really here in Japan?

"It is only natural for you to be skeptical, but the Holy Grail that appears in this town is real. The fact that the Servants, great heroes of the past, have been summoned is proof. Such a thing is a miracle close to raising the dead. No, not just a miracle, it's nearly a sorcery. Whether this Grail is the cup of Christ or not is irrelevant in front of its power." For the first time tonight, I heard actual emotion in the priest's voice. He honestly seemed excited about the possibilities the Grail held.

So…even if the Grail was a fake, it didn't matter because it had powers equal or greater to the original? If that was true, you could even use this 'Holy Grail' to get the real thing. With such power, when the time comes for me to keep my promise with Iri…it would be a piece of cake. As if reading my mind, the priest smiled hollowly.

"So, Shirou von Einzbern, Master of Rider, do you have any more questions?"

**The Three T's of Victory**

The trip back to my home was rather uneventful. Upon exiting the church, I got the strange feeling that something was supposed to happen. But whatever that feeling was, nothing came of it. Rider complained the whole way home, saying something about stupid, blind priests. I was too consumed by what I had learned to pay her any heed.

Despite what Kotomine had said, this ritual was definitely insane.

A bunch of magi summoning great heroes for their own petty battles, such a thing was ridiculous. Only a magus would think of enslaving legends to use for his own gain. Although, I have to admit that I was not much better. I had a need for the Grail myself after all. Damn that Kotomine, he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Telling me that my parents were participants in the last war, alongside the stupid priest himself no less, made it impossible to ignore what he said. Now I just want to get home and rest. I don't even want to think about school tomorrow.

Approaching the door to my house, I sighed with relief. I was finally back, although the knowledge that I was not completely safe as long as I was a Master dulled the pleasure a bit. After I chastised myself for forgetting to lock before I went out, I opened the door and entered the building with Rider following at my heels. Upon entering the dining room I was greeted by an unexpected scene.

For sitting at the table was a very strange pair. First there was a bronze-skinned giant dressed in a butler outfit hunched over a cup of tea, his bulging muscles causing the seams on his suit rip. Next to him sat a small girl with white hair. She held her tea in a refined manner, giving off the impression of a high-class lady. Adding to my shock, the girl even looked like a bite-sized version of Irisviel. Behind me, Rider donned her armor in a flash while unsheathing her sword, preparing herself for combat.

Turning to me, the little girl smiled brightly while the giant man inclined his head.

"Welcome home, Onii-chan!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope you don't mind us helping ourselves to the tea."

"A giant! Kill it! _Kill it!_"

…Buwah?

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Fill, fill, fill, fill, fill! Repeat five times! But destroy each when filled. I hereby propose: Thou shalt come under my command, and my fate shall be thy sword. Abiding by the summons of the Holy Grail, if thou dost accede to this will and reason, answer me! I hereby swear, I will be all that is good in the eternal world. I will be the disposer of evil in the eternal world. Thou, the seven days clad in the Great Trinity, come forth from the circle of restraint. Guardian of the Heavenly Scales!"

Within an ostentatious hotel room, electric lights ensconced along the walls began to flicker as a great vacuum came into being above an ornate pentagram embroidered onto a fancy carpet. A dark-skinned man, whose crimson outfit was wet with seawater, was deposited on the ground, his rear end sinking into the plush carpet. The seated man, a Servant, began mumbling to himself, running a hand through his white hair.

"Man…my head hurts. Wait," the man paused to take a look around at his surroundings, "was I just summoned? _Again?_" It was impossible for a Servant to be summoned when it already had been manifested, wasn't it? Well, he had to admit it got him away from those overly-friendly fishermen, so he couldn't complain too much. "As long as I can get back to Rin and resume our partnership, everything should be…oh boy." Looking up from his seated position, the Servant saw the person who had summoned him. An elegant young woman, clad in a blue dress with hair of curly blond, stood outside the circle. Her hand, marked with an intricate red tattoo, was held underneath her chin while she let out an arrogant laugh.

"Ohohohohoho! I seem to have managed to summon my Servant in time for the war. That priest's insistence that I should hurry before the last spot was taken was just a bunch of hot air after all. I can't wait to see Tohsaka's expression when I show her that my Servant is better than anything that she could have scrounged up!" Putting her hands on her hips, the lady addressed the sitting man. "I am Luviagelita Edelfelt, your Master. Now, Servant, tell me what class you are so we can begin planning how we will win the Grail."

…Luvia? Gift horse or not, Archer felt that Rin was going to kill him when she found out.

_[Break]_

So, there we go. The requisite visit to the church is finished, and Ilya comes in contact with her brother. We don't need to hear all the technical explanations on how the war works, so I skipped that~ Plus, there are some things that I don't want to reveal right at this moment that were discussed there.

While I said that Shirou won't have any harem antics...I never said anything about Archer. If you want the technical explanation for how Archer was summoned and now has two masters...just assume it was because of the Edelfelt crest. The whole splitting aspect of it. After all, the Tohsakas did get half of it after the third war. The rest of it is just made of asspullium. Comedy before logic. And yes, Archer still must obey the commands of Rin. He is bound to both of them, and thus receives prana from both as well. It may be inconvenient, but he is now quite the powerhouse. I will later post a servant sheet that reflects these changes.

Of course, his luck remains the same.

As for the summoning circle carpet thing...Luvia brought it with her to Fuyuki. It was not originally part of the hotel's decor. Just seems like the kind of superfluous thing someone like her would bring along.


	4. Chapter 4

Well, here is the next chapter. There are parts of it that I am not quite happy with, but I am stumped on how to improve them. My inspiration is now officially dead, so don't expect another chapter anytime soon.

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Chapter 4_**  
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For years, that letter had been Ilya's only hope. That tattered and yellowed letter, with its faded writing and slight smell of mildew, had been her most precious possession. The day that the letter was snuck into her room by a crow familiar was one that she remembered clearly. It kept her from losing hope, and assured Ilya that her mother still loved her even if she wasn't with her. It reminded Ilya that her mother once said that she would be gone for a long, long time, but would still be by her side as long as she lived. This let her know that momma would never betray her like so many others did.

The present that momma had promised her in that letter, she looked forward to it like nothing else. And if there was anything standing in her way…well, she'd just have to use her new Servant to smash it, wouldn't she?

**The Three T's of Victory**

…Who are these people? Given Rider's reaction, the large one was probably a Servant. Then again, maybe it was just because he was so big. Even I had the impulse to pull out swords and confront him…even though I have never even touched anything like them before. The giant's presence was so unnerving that I nearly forgot about the girl…which is saying something, since the girl's appearance was pretty striking on its own. With her pretty white hair, her cherubic face, her doll-like outfit, and her fairy-like demeanor, every bit of her was mesmerizing.

Especially the part where she looked quite a bit like my mother.

"Ah, onii-chan, you kept me waiting. I had my maids scout out this place for the past few days, gathering information on this place. And just when I decide on a good time to visit…you go off on your own! I mean, it isn't every day you discover that you have an older brother. I wanted you to answer the door and then I would go 'surprise' and stuff. But I got _booooored_ waiting for you to come back, so I decided that you at least owe me tea."

This little girl has just said something amazing. It wasn't every day that you discover someone discovering that you are her older brother…apparently. I honestly didn't believe that she was lying. Her appearance alone lent credence to what she claimed. Although, if she was indeed telling the truth, I wonder why Iri kept this from me?

Then again, she kept the existence of the War secret from me as well, so I shouldn't be that surprised. This girl, she had to have been quite young when Iri left for the War. It makes sense that they would leave a child behind due to the danger, not expecting to never be able to return. I do remember mother saying that she couldn't return home because she failed her family, and preventing her from ever seeing her daughter _was_ something the Einzberns would do. This must have been hard for her to deal with, so it's no wonder she never talked about it.

This girl…with her father dead, and her mother in a faraway county (and then dead), how lonely must she have been?

"Are you perhaps…Irisviel's daughter? You look just like her, so is that it?" This whole situation stumped me. A younger sister suddenly appearing out of thin air, this was just like a bad anime plot. Even knowing the possible reasons for never meeting her before, I just was not sure how to react. Should I hug her? Should I be afraid that she might hate me for taking away her mother? I didn't know, so I simply sat down at the table across from this enigmatic girl and let out a sigh. The giant Servant, receiving a command from the small girl, passed a third cup over to me. Sipping the steaming contents soothed my frayed nerves.

Rider, on the other hand, was busy poking the giant's cheek with her sword...futilely. The big lug probably didn't even feel it. Her sharp blade failed to even break the skin.

"Yep!" Standing up from her position at the table, the girl curtsied in my direction. Her every move gave off the air of a princess. "My name is Illyasviel von Einzbern, but I insist that you just call me Ilya."

"Ah, the pleasure is mine. I'm Shirou Emiya. And the one that is poking your Servant over there is Rider." I nodded back to her, my bow limited by my sitting position. Even her name is similar to Iri's. Well, mother never did have the best naming sense. She once named that crow familiar of hers 'Karasu' and left it at that. Not that her husband was much better apparently. According to Iri, when it came to matters that did not involve killing people, Kiritsugu had all the creativity of a dead rat.

"Ehehehe, thanks onii-chan. But before we settle down, there are a few problems we need to take care of first." Turning to Rider, who was still prodding Ilya's Servant, the fairy-like girl smiled sweetly. "Now that onii-chan has Ilya, you aren't needed anymore, Rider. My Saber will kill all the other Servants and Masters and win this stupid Grail War."

"W-w-w-w-what! W-who are you t-t-to say that? This Rider will b-best your Saber any day!" Rider was spitting in a nigh incoherent rage. Her poking of Saber picked up in pace, to the point where the blade was nothing but a blur.

"Nu-uh! My Saber is the best Servant ever! He is Heracles, the greatest hero anywhere!" …Heracles? That is a legend that is famous even here in Japan, almost matching names like Date Masamune and Oda Nobunaga in sheer notoriety! This girl has summoned something really amazing. Seeing the look of amazement that was sure to be on my face Rider turned away from me in a huff. She even stopped poking Saber, much to the giant's apparent relief.

Huh, did I insult her or something?

"Master, you're being rude. Rider has her pride as a Heroic Spirit; you shouldn't step on that so casually." Thankfully Saber's deep voice interrupted before the two girls got physical. Even with the situation largely defused, they were both staring antagonistically at the other, as if looking for any weaknesses to exploit. I knew Rider's pride was damaged, but she was a Heroic Spirit. Shouldn't she be above these kinds of things? "And we never know how things will turn out, so any ally we have for this war would be welcomed. As for if and when we are the last two Servants remaining…well, we can cross that bridge when we come to it."

Despite all this mayhem, I am glad that Ilya wanted to ally herself with us…however strangely she showed it. Really, I wouldn't know what to do if she had wanted to fight. While I still was unused to her existence, she was indeed Iri's daughter in every way. Her flightiness, her childish naivety, and her sheer purity were all the same. I couldn't bring myself to fight against that.

"So…Ilya, you are going to help me in this war? I just want to make sure I'm not misunderstanding something. And more importantly, do you have a wish for the Grail?" I needed to ask this because I had a wish of my own. Although mine wasn't all that important, mostly because I felt that I could fulfill it without any miracles if need be. It would be tough to manage it without the Grail, but if Ilya had a wish of her own to ask for, I would give mine to her. Even though I just met her a few minutes ago, I would give her pretty much anything she desired.

The possible conflict between Rider and Heracles, however, made this situation a bit more complicated that I would have liked, they probably had their own wishes that they needed the Grail for. Thankfully Heracles seemed like a nice enough guy, so I probably didn't have to worry about that part for now.

"Of course I want to work with you, onii-chan. If I leave you alone you might go and get squashed by one of the other Servants. As for the wish…hmm…nope! Ilya's got nothing she wants from it." Still standing from when she introduced herself, she began to twirl in place in a practiced manner. "I have no interest in the Grail since I already got what I wanted. Being here with you is enough."

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about a conflict of interest." I was surprised though, was meeting me really that great of a thing to her? I mean why would she feel- _grauugh! _

All previous thoughts came to a halt. I grasped my chest in pain, my lungs refusing to work properly. Breathing became difficult with my lungs feeling like they were being toasted in an oven. My very skin felt like it was being scalded by boiling mud. That burning feeling was one that I was all too familiar with, even though it had been some time since I last was afflicted with it.

I had started my life with the pain after all.

"D-dammit, I lost track of time." Looking at the clock, I discovered that it was already three in the morning…long past time for me to take my medication. With everything that has been happening in these past few hours, I haven't had a chance to make my daily dose. If I didn't do it soon…well, this War would be over for me before it even started. Ilya may understand some of my plight, as she was at least partly a homunculus, but I'd rather not burden her with this. "Il…Ilya, how about we continue this tomorrow, it…it is already quite early in the morning. We both probably need the rest if…if we want to be at full strength when we enter the War."

"Master, are you all right? Are you hurt...? Your body is trembling something terrible!" Rider was at my side in an instant, her seriousness surprising me. Normally she would be babbling up a storm right about now. It seemed that even she can be serious when she felt like it. Supporting my quickly weakening self by grabbing my shoulder, the petite Servant hoisted me up from my sitting position despite my body's…objections. Ilya had stopped her twirling and turned a worried gaze towards me. Even Saber looked concerned; something that I had no idea was possible with a face like his.

"I'm…fine. You shouldn't worry so much, Rider. It's just that-"

"Onii-chan, you're a terrible liar. You can hardly talk without wheezing. Plus blood is leaking out of your nose, and I haven't even taken off my clothes yet. My Saber would have sensed something if it was an attack, and you seem to not be all that surprised at this sudden affliction. So tell us, just what is wrong? And don't even think of waving this off as if this is nothing, you're not getting off the hook that easily." Despite her joke – it _was_ a joke, right? – Ilya gave off an air of maturity, her face set in a serious scowl. It was in stark contrast to her previous attitude, surprising me with the sudden change. It made it impossible try to lie to her again, even if I had the time or energy to do so.

"Alright, I'll explain…but not here. Rider, could you please take me…take me to the shed where you were summoned?"

**The Three T's of Victory**

"…of vanadium bromoperoxidase, five grams of calcium powder, three grams of potassium sulfate, ignite a flake of magnesium within, mix contents with a chicken broth base, pour results into…"

Synthesizing the familiar solution was soothing on my frayed nerves, a point of familiarity amongst all the new. Or it would have been if not for the three people – I didn't know how Saber had even fit through the shed's door – staring over my shoulders as I worked. It was hard enough to keep the multitude of beakers needed steady with my body failing, let alone with the distraction of people breathing down my neck. If I messed up a single step, I would have to start all over from the beginning. That was something that I didn't have the time for.

After holding the beaker over a Bunsen-burner for three minutes, the surface of the mixture bubbled with an unsettling popping noise, signifying that the medicine had finished brewing. The concoction that Iri had carelessly named 'Red Potion' – for it was blood-red in color…and smelled like Taiga's old socks – was finished.

"And now, down the hatch!" Putting the still scalding hot beaker up to my lips, I chugged down the contents in a single swallow. The medicine tasted horrible, so no need to prolong my exposure to its foulness by sipping it.

The results were immediate. My lungs stopped burning and I was able to breath freely once again. My skin, which had actually turned a reddish hue and started peeling as if suffering from prolonged sunburn, had healed. Due to the alchemical nature of the medicine, there was no need for it to circulate through my body. Just having it within me was enough, an instant cure if you will.

"Master, are you going to be alright now? Do you have any more mad-scientisting needing to be done?" Mad-scientisting? This was alchemy, a highly respected and ancient art…which my every ill-conceived attempt at it was probably a much larger insult to tradition than calling it the works of a mad scientist would ever be. The only reason that my most recent attempt didn't blow up on me was because I was so used to making it. Since I failed to respond to her questions/demands, Rider began to shake my shoulders. "You aren't going to explode or anything, right? I don't want Master to explode! Or melt, or disintegrate, or combust, or-"

"Rider, that is enough. You're not giving Master Shirou a chance to even breathe, let alone answer." Surprisingly enough, Saber was the one who intervened. Lifting Rider up with one of his huge hands, Saber set her down next to him. With my pretty Servant out of my face, I was finally able to gather my thoughts. No, I was not going to explode. Or melt, or disintegrate, or combust. Sorry to disappoint.

"Tell us, Shirou, just what went on there?" Ilya poked me on the shoulder, looking at me expectantly. She put her hands on her hips, demanding an explanation for what had happened earlier. Looking towards both Saber and Rider for support, I saw that they both were looking at me with similar expressions. This was one of those things that I would rather keep to myself, but it seemed like I had no other choice.

Especially since Ilya had begun pouting, I couldn't say no.

"…All right, this is going to be a long and boring explanation, so get comfortable. Ilya, do you know about the disaster that happened in this city ten years ago?" Ilya merely shook her head. Damn, not that I had expected anything different, but that makes this tougher to explain. "Well, apparently at the end of the previous War someone had damaged the Holy Grail, causing the energy stored within to escape explosively. The resulting conflagration set a third of Fuyuki City on fire. Many people died, including my original family. It was through a stroke of luck that I survived long enough to be found and rescued by Irisviel."

"Mm, I see. Momma found you and then adopted you. But what does this have to do with your 'episode'?" Ilya nodded to herself, trying to connect the dots.

"Everything. You think a child could survive in that fire unscathed? I was in such terrible condition that I wouldn't have even made it to the hospital before succumbing. You see, by the time Iri had found me my lungs had already stopped functioning. The acrid smoke damaged my lungs, burning them from the inside out. When you add that to the other, less serious, wounds that I had accumulated, I was dying. Fast. If Irisviel hadn't appeared when she did, I would have perished right then and there. She saved me using her alchemy and magecraft, making substitute organs for all the ones that were too far gone for her to heal and implanting them into my body." I coughed; my throat was getting dry from all the talking. The horrid concoction I drank wasn't helping in that regard.

"Ooh ooh! Master, did that leave any scars? Scars are sexy." Before Rider could jump my bones – as she looked like she was ready to pounce – Ilya thwacked her on the head, causing her face to hit the floor. Rider, I don't think I will ever understand how you think. "Oww…"

"Onii-chan, I know that momma was the best momma anywhere…but if what you say is true, and it was an absolute wasteland, then how did she make the organs for you? From what little I know of that process, you need organic materials as a base. In the middle of a fire, those would be more than scarce." Ilya brought up something that I had been wondering about for a long time. I had once asked Iri about that, but she just giggled and changed the subject.

She did that quite often.

"Good question; and one I cannot answer. I have no idea how she managed to synthesize complex things like organs the middle of a burning disaster-area…but she did. She was amazing; she replaced my lungs, my eyes, large parts of my skin, and my tongue, all within the span of a few minutes. The whole process of opening me up and replacing my insides hurt like hell, but I got better." And now I could finally get to the point. I really don't like long lectures; neither giving them nor listening to them gives me any pleasure.

Turning my back to them, an attempt to avoid having to look into their eyes, I continued.

"But, there were problems. Obviously. My body simply did not take well to these implants. Probably because they are homunculus parts made of concentrated, high-quality magic circuits while the rest of me…is not. If I don't take measures to 'dumb them down' my body will begin to reject these implants and they would function abnormally. Or, as is more likely, cease to function at all. Possibly even returning to the materials once used to make them. That is what the medicine is for, suppressing my foreign organs and preventing my body from attacking them. I have to take it about every twenty-four hours, otherwise…well, you saw what happened."

"Master Shirou, why don't you have any in reserve?" This time it was Saber who interrupted, raising his hand as if in a classroom. "Surely you could make it in a larger batch."

"I wish. Unfortunately the concoction does not keep, so I have to make it fresh every day. As you can see, that is tough to do when I am in the state where I need it the most. By the time the symptoms set it, it is usually too late. I was lucky this time, simple as that." I sighed. This brought up a problem that would have to be addressed. The War, it was going to take up a lot of my time. Scheduling anything would be a pain with assaults possibly coming at any time. It would be pathetic to collapse in the middle of a fight with an ancient hero just because I didn't have time to take my meds. During this war, it was imperative to keep my supply ready at all times.

Lancer's attack had destroyed a large chunk of my stock, much of it irreplaceable in these circumstances, but still I had enough to live on for a while. Unfortunately I didn't have the means to go travel the world to gather up what I couldn't just buy, that little fact made me miss Iri's 'connections' even more. While she never actually left Fuyuki, she was able to gather all kinds of exotic ingredients through them. All of it sent to our door, with the addition of a few interesting…gifts. The cursed blade Tora-shinai, later bestowed upon Taiga, was one such item.

Her late husband knew quite the interesting assortment of people.

Of course, the fact that my stores have been vastly depleted would be kept from everyone. Wouldn't want to worry my new allies more than I have already, I have enough to last through the War anyway.

Even without glancing back at my audience I felt their stares on me. Both my Servant and my sister were probably worrying over what I had told them. All that less-than-pleasant information dumped on them at once, it was probably a bit overwhelming. Yet another reason why I had hoped to withhold that bit, Taiga was the only other that I had trusted with that secret. Of course I had changed the nature of the story a bit to hide the supernatural parts, but she was the only one who basically knew the whole story.

"How about we call it a day? It's obscenely late, and I just want to sleep after my latest near-death experience." Turning to Ilya, I ruffled her hair. She giggled, seemingly pleased at the attention. "Ilya, do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"Mmm, well I _do_. But..." Ilya seemed to hesitate, her fingers poking together demurely. Looking up at me with tears in her eyes, she pouted. Just what was she doing that for? It wasn't like I was refusing to let her stay here, I was practically offering it! She didn't need to play up the abandoned puppy factor. That was overkill!

Might as well play along, embarrassing her would only serve to make her angry.

"Fine, you can stay the night. It's probably far too late for you to go back anyway. I'll set up one of the guest rooms for you." I'll go and set up one for Rider while I'm at it, she needed a place to sleep too. Finding a place for Saber to sleep would be a trifle more difficult, I'd have to get a futon out…or three. He'd squish any one of the guest-beds just by looking at it.

"Hooray! I wanna sleep with onii-chan!"

"No! As Master's Servant, I will be the one to sleep with him! I mean, I need to be close to him in case of an enemy attack!"

"Master Shirou, I'll help you set up. It is the least I can do to make up for the trouble my Master has caused."

And so ended my first night in the Holy Grail War…how was I going to explain all this to Taiga?

**The Three T's of Victory**

Her present was even better than she imagined! She had expected something like a mountain of candy, or a pony, or maybe a giant magical array that when activated by a human sacrifice would kill everyone who had hurt her and trap their souls in eternal torment! She had really hoped for the last one, but this was _sooooo_ much better. A younger older brother, it was more than she could have hoped for!

When she first discovered him a few days ago, she didn't know what to think of him. Who was this strange person living where momma said that she left her gift? It took a while, but after her maids reported seeing some of momma's belongings among the boy's things she learned that _he_ was her gift.

It was the only thing that made sense after all.

After that discovery, Ilya began to wonder what he was like. Would he be kind to her? Would he make her candy? Would he kill anyone that threatened her? (Not that he would be able to, for her Saber would have already reduced them to mush, but it was the thought that counted.) From what she saw then, and later confirmed, he was a good person.

She decided that she needed to meet this Shirou in person, and so she did. Commanding her maids to return to the castle, she had tried to make a grand entrance…but he wasn't around. Sure, the wait for him to return was longer than she would have liked, but she had waited ten years for this. A few hours more was nothing, and it was well worth it in the end. He _was_ kind to her, and would do anything she asked! It was great.

Momma gave onii-chan to her, so she would be sure to take good care of him. He was a bit goofy, and had summoned a strange Servant, but Ilya still liked him. His attitude even reminded her of momma at times. It was unfortunate that his body couldn't hold up without daily maintenance, but that was what the grail was for! All Ilya had to do was win the war – which was something that she was going to do anyway – and wish for his body to get better! What the Einzberns wanted didn't matter, it never did. Grandpapa could go freeze his stupid beard off for refusing to tell her anything about what happened to her mother.

Shirou was hers, and that was all she cared about.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Ten years. Ten years of waiting and for what? Nothing! While the one that he was waiting for did appear, much to his initial glee, it was all pointless! He was so looking forward to drowning her in despair, defiling her very existence while watching on as it slowly consumed her. Her expressions would have been _exquisite_. Yet, the very moment when she came into this world, she was corrupted. Her beauty was quickly and carelessly destroyed. There was no pleasure to be taken from that at all! This state of affairs ruined the taste of his wine, making it as if it were ash on his tongue.

That was unforgivable.

She was to be tainted by his hand and his hand alone! She belonged to him. It was his right as king! Yet some ugly insect dared to darken her radiance without his permission! This was not how it should be! The mongrel – no, the worm that was responsible is lower than even that – who has taken away his entertainment will suffer. You do not touch what belongs to the king without his permission, and everything in this world belongs to the king. That is the king's law!

_**[Arc 1: Terror] Complete**_

_****_**Author's Note: **Infodump is infodump.

Nasuverse Alchemy, how u work? The only alchemists we get are 'exceptions' like Sion or Fabro Rowan who do not do orthodox alchemy. I mean, really Nasu? It took us till Fate/Zero to get an example of a orthodox magus such as Kayneth...I don't think we will ever get a regular alchemist. So, lacking any information, I just made it into a super chemistry type thing~

Iri being able to do the organ replacement does not come from nowhere. I read somewhere that the Einzbern's healing magecraft is intended for use during transplants. That was what inspired that idea. Of course, my memory is hazy...so I cannot vouch for authenticity of this information.  
><strong><br>**


	5. Chapter 5

Well, here is the next update. I was on pain meds during the writing of a large amount of this chapter...so that will explain the strangeness of some of it. Hopefully.

Rider's charisma comes into play here...so that will explain certain behavior towards him. Al is a pervert

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Chapter 5_**  
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"So, Archer, can you see anything of note?" Two figures stood atop a tall skyscraper looking over a grand city, the darkness of night obscuring their features from any possible observer. The shorter of the two figures, a female if the silhouette was anything to go by, addressed the taller. "We're a bit late in joining this War, so I don't want to miss anything."

The taller of the two sighed. While his memories were fuzzy, this had to be the first time he repeated this scene twice in a single War. Things were just getting stranger and stranger, especially with that kid summoning a different Servant. "No Master, there doesn't appear to be anything going on right now. But isn't it a good thing if other Servants have been already taken out? It would save us some work at least."

"Why? That's simple. It is more fun this way. If I am going to fight in this War, I at least want to enjoy it. Plus I will be the one to beat that Tohsaka. I will not allow anyone else the dubious honor of defeating her." The taller figure resisted the urge to cringe, if his new Master found out about these strange circumstances that he found himself in…it would be just as bad as if Rin found out. These two were just too alike for their own good.

"I see." But, Archer digressed, there was one advantage that this odd turn of events gave him; Luvia did not know Shirou even existed. And to her, he would just be another opponent in the War. Just another obstacle to be taken out on her way to victory. With no chance for her to fall under whatever strange charm that boy had, she would not hesitate if that was what it took to win. But, just in case, he would play subservient for now. It would only serve for Luvia being more receptive to his suggestions when the time came. Plus she wasn't nearly as fun to rile up as Rin, probably a familiarity thing.

Eliminating Shirou Emiya this time around would be a cinch.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Everything was warm. The heat was surrounding me, melting me. I couldn't escape; the heat had me trapped. It was squeezing me, two stiff points poking me in the back. It was drooling on my stomach, rubbing something squishy against my leg.

"Mmm…Master, punish me more…"

…wait.

Let's see…I remember that I took my medicine after nearly collapsing, blabbed on and on for a few minutes, setting up the guest rooms for my new 'boarders', cleaning up what I could of the mess Lancer made, and then finally going to bed. So…I was lying in my futon, with two warm things squeezing me from each side. That was not good, but not unexpected with both Ilya and Rider expressing their desire to share a bed with me last night. What was unexpected, however, was their apparent lack of clothes.

And what the hell was rubbing against my leg?

Throwing off my covers, I was greeted with a strange sight. Ilya had somehow absconded with the pants that I was wearing as pajamas, leaving me in my boxers, and put them on. As the only piece of clothing she was wearing.

It appeared that the house was colder than I thought.

It was what lay on my other side that was the strangest, causing all previous processes in my mind to screech to a halt. For lying there, even more naked than Ilya, was Rider, with a very conspicuous object dangling from in-between her…_his_ legs. She…_he_ had attached her…_himself_ to my thigh, burrowing her…_his_ face into my abdomen. Her…_his_ hair was out of its customary braid and had ended up spread all over the futon, restraining my ankles with its tangles. Most importantly, that crime against gender-specific pronouns was rubbing that…squishy…protruding…_object_ against my leg. Vigorously.

Not fair, it was just as cute as the rest of him!

"Graaaaah!" I backpedaled…or tried to. Of course, as I would have known if my mind was functioning properly, my attempt at getting up quickly failed spectacularly. I ended up only jostling the other occupants of my futon and hitting my head against the floor, Rider's hair preventing me from escaping.

"…Onii-chan, what was that for?" Ilya raised herself upright while rubbing her eyes, still half-asleep it seemed. As she stood up and stretched, the oversized – on her – pants she was wearing began to slip dow_n't look Shirou_! Absolutely do not look at the soft mounds of her budding breasts, or the slope of her slightly rounded belly, or the gentle curves of her hips, or the hairless…dammit! Well, at least I've confirmed that Ilya was definitely a she. "Get back over here, I want to cuddle more."

All I could do was point at Rider, who was still asleep and attached to my leg. Turning her head towards the Servant, Ilya stared for a minute before a blush lit up her pale cheeks. As if aware of all the attention suddenly being focused on him, Rider began to stir.

"Good morning, Master. Ilya." The newly-revealed boy got up on his knees, heedless of his nudity. The Servant stretched groggily, arching his back like a cat while sticking his – most certainly not delicious – bum in the air. The physique that action highlighted, while quite feminine, was definitely that of a male. Noticing both Ilya's and my stares, Rider alternated between looking confusedly at us and untangling his hair from around my feet. The dangly bits between his legs were jiggling with each slight movement he made and…no; I was most certainly not staring at it. "Ah, sorry about this, Master. I did not expect my hair to pose such a problem. I will put it up in a bun from now on when we sleep, it will save us this trouble."

Wait, from now on…? He intended to do this every night?

"What do you mean 'from now on'? The only one onii-chan will be sleeping with is me!" Rider's proclamation seemed to have snapped Ilya out of the shock induced by his man-parts. She put her fists on her hips, with my pants having fallen to her ankles, and glared at the kneeling Servant. Dammit Ilya. "You aren't even a girl like we thought, so you can't marry onii-chan!"

When the hell did marriage come into this?

"You all thought that I was a girl?" Rider, finished with untangling his hair, stood up and blinked. Turning his questioning gaze to me, he continued. "Really?"

"Umm…pretty much?" I couldn't stop staring, it was _right there_. God, there wasn't even a single hair or blemish marring its immaculate surface! That's just…gah!

"Well, that would explain Saber calling me a 'she' that one time. I had thought that was just a slip of the tongue, but I guess not." Rider sighed, shaking his head. The _jiggling_, why wouldn't it stop? "And here I thought I was using the male 'I' to refer to myself. Umuu, Japanese is hard. Stupid Grail auto-translate system."

"Your Japanese is fine, if a bit archaic. I thought that was just you being a tomboy. While strange, it is not all that uncommon for girls to use male pronouns to refer to themselves." With him pouting cutely like that, I was finally able to tear my attention away from _it_. Stay focused on the face Shirou, stay focused on the face. "It's just…you can't tell me that you haven't been mistaken for a girl before!"

"Well, I have. But the last time that happened, some random sweaty guy kidnapped me!" Rider harrumphed, crossing his arms over his chest. "If I am to be kidnapped, I'd much rather have someone like Master take me. Ooooh, the _fun_ we'd have."

"I'd never let that happen you exhibitionist!" You're one to talk, Ilya. It seemed that she couldn't stay in the background any longer. She tossed off the pants draped around her feet and lunged at the equally-nude Servant, knocking them both down on the floor. They proceeded to grapple, rolling back-and-forth all over the tatami. "How many times do I have to say it? Onii-chan is mine! No man-hussy will take him from me!"

I should really turn up temperature in this house, it seemed like it was still quite nippy.

"What's with all the commotion? It's six in the morning, a little over two hours since we went to bed." The swishing of an opening door followed by a rumbling voice came from behind me, shocking me out of my thoughts. "Master, why are you chewing on Rider's arm?"

Turning around I was greeted by the sight of Saber…_oh my lord!_ Not him too? Saber, my only ally in this insanity, why have you betrayed me like this? Why was everyone here so averse to wearing clothing? Rider, Ilya, and even Saber…this was the third day of February, not a time to be sleeping in the buff!

I did the only thing that I could in this situation, grab a change of clothes and flee the room screaming like a little girl. I had breakfast to prepare, excuses to come up with, and punishments to plan. This was promising to be a busy morning.

**The Three T's of Victory**

The sound of sizzling eggs was soothing to my frayed nerves, the ingrained routine of cooking a welcome distraction from everything. The sheer normalcy of this brought my world back into focus, allowing me to think clearly for the first time in hours. This allowed me to think about my current situation, so it was a welcome break.

Today was thankfully a Sunday, so I didn't have to go to school. Just a thought about that place made me cringe; I just didn't know how I would manage with the War going on. Geez, I knew thinking about school today would be a pain. Still…even though it was a weekend, I had to get up early like usual. Taiga and Sakura had some archery club business that was rescheduled at the last minute – something about a teachers' meeting and a transfer student. So they would be here, one to mooch and one to help as always, before heading off to school.

Explaining Ilya's existence and presence was going to be (comparatively) easy, her resemblance to Irisviel was shocking. Taiga would just love meeting her instructor's biological daughter, and there was easily enough proof to convince her. Supposedly Iri helped Taiga when she was afflicted with a bout of amnesia. Strange as it may be, that event made Taiga nearly inseparable from my mother. If I was right, some of that that was sure to translate down to her progeny.

Plus Ilya was cute, and Taiga adored cute things when it suited her.

Saber could be explained away as one of Ilya's butlers, with his attitude it wasn't completely unbelievable. Sure his size and appearance would be a problem, but he was courteous. Taiga surely wouldn't try to kill him on sight, maybe. Sakura, on the other hand, I worried about. She was a bit more fragile than our teacher. Hopefully she wouldn't be too afraid of the giant Servant. Then again, she was a magus herself – although she doesn't know that I know this…I think – so she might be able to identify Saber for what he was. Whether that was a good or a bad thing, I didn't know. But she had always felt like a kindred spirit. So, despite being one of the magi that I hate, I actually trusted her quite a bit. Hopefully everything would work out.

Rider, on the other hand, would be harder to explain. I couldn't use the excuse that he was one of Ilya's servants, as he would object fiercely. And while it doesn't exactly bother me, his tendency to call me Master would easily lead Taiga to jump to the wrong conclusions. Or worse, the right ones. She could be oddly perceptive at times, and who knows what she could glean from her connections in the yakuza if she put her mind to it.

"_Shirooouuuuu, gimme fooooood!"_

Speak of the devil. It seemed that I lost track of time while cooking. Not an uncommon occurrence, as I often get absorbed in my work. This situation is different than usual though, as Sakura usually comes to help me with breakfast…whether I want her to or not. Taiga getting here before her was a bit odd. But with the War going on, and her being a magus descended from one of the three founders that Kotomine told me about, I probably shouldn't be surprised. If she really was a Master like I suspected, she would probably be quite busy.

"It's coming Taiga, hold your horses." That woman was the same as ever, there wasn't a single delicate bone in her body. "We have guests over, so you have to be polite for once."

"Whaaaaat?" Hmm, probably should have waited until she had food in her mouth. At least her shout would have been muffled. "Guests? Guests mean more people, and more people means less food for me! How…how could you do this to your poor teacher? Sakura will be devastated!"

No, even Sakura agreed that you should eat less if you wanted to stay healthy.

"Shirou, kick those freeloaders out!"

"You haven't even met them yet, and stop yelling at me to throw them out. If anyone is a freeloader here it is you." Having finished with the English-styled breakfast, I started to bring it out. Taiga, who was sitting at the dining-room table, started drooling after smelling what I had in my hands. I idly wondered if I could train her like Pavlov's dog. "Besides, doesn't your grandfather still have those professional cooks working for him? Hiranuma-san was a wonder when it came to anything Italian."

"But…he makes me _pay_ for the food! He always says something about how I should be more independent, stupid grandpa!" Taiga, you were supposed to deny the accusations of being a freeloader, not confirm them. "And unlike those old stiffs that call themselves masters, you actually make me things that I find tasty."

"Those 'old stiffs' were the ones to teach me how to cook the stuff you enjoy so much in the first place, show some respect." I thwacked her on the head with the ladle that I had stowed away in the front pocket of my apron. "They were probably purposely making food you don't like to drive you away. With your appetite, you are the bane of the frugal chef."

"Why is my Shirou being so mean to me?" Taiga started crying with what were obviously crocodile tears. When she tried to sneak a bite of what I had laid on the table using this as a distraction, I thwacked her again. Thwacking her was always fun. "What happened to the cute little boy with the attention span of a mayfly who looked up to his big sister?"

"Puberty. But let's move on, it seems like one of _our_ guests is up." I made sure to stress the 'our'. Saber, thankfully clothed in his typical outfit this time, had made his way into the dining room. Taiga, upon seeing the giant that had invaded the room's space, acted predictably. Namely, she pulled out a shinai from hammer-space and proceeded to assault the invader, fruitlessly whacking Saber on the knee. Saber, as usual, ignored this as he turned to address me.

"Master Shirou, both Master and Rider have calmed down and will be out shortly. Thank you for your patience." Saber bowed, probably apologizing for his Master's conduct. Of course, this left his torso within reach of a vicious tiger that promptly grabbed his neck and used it to vault herself on the Servant's back, giving her a vantage point from which she began assaulting his head. "Oh my, and who is this spitfire?"

"It's a talking ape in a monkey-suit! Shirou, help me kill it before it eats my breakfast!"

**The Three T's of Victory**

It took the appearance of Ilya to distract Taiga from attempting to kill Saber. Upon seeing the girl, Taiga immediately dove off of the giant and latched onto her. Of course, Ilya didn't take well to the unexpected assault. She ordered Saber to restrain the wayward teacher, and Rider, who had appeared as well, took this as a chance to exercise his rope-skills once again.

And so, there was Taiga. Tied up and hanging from the ceiling, just like the first time I had met her.

"Master knows quite the interesting assortment of people." Rider, who had taken up sitting on Saber's shoulder after finishing his work, piped in. His position drew an irate glare from Ilya, at which Saber merely shrugged his unoccupied shoulder. "First there was that irritating priest, and now a fearless tiger-woman."

I was surprised, Taiga didn't yell at him for calling her 'Tiger'…or pay any notice to him at all. She may not have even realized that that there was a third 'guest' yet, for she stared at Ilya the entire time she was being tied up.

"Uwaaa, it's a chibi-Instructor! This is just like what I read in Jump last night! Are you an assassin that has come to teach me the ways of the yakuza so I can become the tenth head of the Fujimura family? Where's your shape shifting lizard?" Wait, what? Ilya an assassin? Well, I had to admit that wasn't exactly far-fetched considering the position she was in. But the tenth head? Wouldn't Taiga only be the fourth head of the Fujimuras should she ever take over after Raiga? And what was this about a shape shifting lizard?

Maybe hanging upside-down made all the blood rush to her brain.

"Onii-chan, who is this crazy woman that assaulted me? And why is she calling me instructor?" Ilya was prodding the hanging Taiga with a spoon, making her swing like a pendulum. "Is she some kind of exotic pet?"

"No, the one hanging like a bagworm is Taiga Fujimura, my teacher and sometimes-guardian." I sighed, this woman was causing more trouble than I had expected. I had thought that she would wait for an explanation before attaching herself to Ilya. But she wouldn't be Taiga if she was predictable. "As for why she called you instructor, that was what she called our mother. Taiga looked up to Iri quite a bit, and you are her spitting image. Of course, the rest of what she said was merely delirium. She gets like this when she is hungry."

And she was quite often hungry. Speaking of which, why hadn't she started complaining about that again? Or reacted to me basically claiming that Ilya was my sister?

"Fuji-nee?" Turning towards where Taiga hung, I saw that she was unconscious, foaming at the mouth. Ah, it seemed that the ropes were strangling her. No wonder she was being quiet for once. Well, it was about time for her to come down anyway. "Rider, get over here and help me get her down. You put her up here in the first place. If she ends up brain damaged, you aren't getting any breakfast."

**The Three T's of Victory**

Waiting for Taiga to wake up was an ordeal in itself. Who knew the woman could create such a commotion even when unconscious? Rider had used his sword to sever the rope keeping the unconscious teacher attached to the ceiling, causing her to hit her head on the table on the (admittedly quite short) fall down.

The knock to her noggin surely didn't help Taiga's situation one bit.

The rapidly uncoiling rope freed one of her legs, which kicked out and tripped Rider who was standing nearby. Rider proceeded to fall in front of Ilya, his skirt riding up. Ilya then punted him away with surprising strength, yelling at him for being an exhibitionist again. Apparently he wasn't wearing anything under that chainmail, not that I'm surprised. The flying Rider impacted an unsuspecting Saber in the shin, causing him to trip and flip the table. The food on the table went flying, hitting the sleeping Taiga in the face. Taiga, woken up by the scalding egg-sandwich on her head, attacked Saber once again.

Thankfully it seemed that we didn't have to repeat the actions that led up to this again.

Taiga, restrained by Saber on order of his Master, ended up on the floor once more. But instead of Rider tying her up, Ilya walked over and began to stare deeply into her eyes. After a few seconds of this, Ilya stepped back from the prone teacher with a smile of satisfaction. Taiga lay there for a minute, her eyes focusing on nothing, before jumping up to her feet with a shout.

"Thanks for the food, Shirou!" What food, the stuff you still had on your head? "I'm off! Sakura's probably waiting for me, so I better hurry. Take care of Ilya for me!"

And then she dashed out of the house, continuing to spout off strange things. Staring into her eyes…did Ilya hypnotize her? I didn't normally condone such actions, but it probably saved us time and effort explaining things. This girl, I could tell that she would probably end up stretching my already flexible morals with her every action.

"You need to be more careful, onii-chan." Ilya turned to me; with her hand on her hips in a lecturing pose she wagged a finger in front of my nose in a manner similar to scolding a child. "She is like family to you, right? Then you shouldn't let her assault a Servant like that, even if it is friendly. What would have happened if Saber thought she was an enemy? We're just lucky that he has that thick skin of his, rather than any reflexive actions, to defend himself."

She had a point. I was too caught up in Taiga being Taiga for me to think about that. Complacency was never a good thing, especially since there was sure to be those who would take advantage of that.

"Master, despite how much it annoys me to admit, the girl has a point. For example, if Saber had Protection against Arrows, well…" Rider motioned to the mess left in the wake of Taiga's departure. "We'd be cleaning up more than just the food."

That was not an image that I needed stuck in my head.

"Well, you both are right. That was careless of me, I had forgotten the danger. Though controlling Taiga is easier said than done." Looking at the mess that was left of the breakfast I cringed. The poor building wasn't going to survive the War at this rate. "But still, did you hypnotize her?"

"Yup! I made her think that she knew I was coming, and that Rider and Saber came with me as my servants." Rider bristled at being referred to as Ilya's servant, but held his tongue. "Things like my relation to you, what I am doing here now, and making her ignore some inconsistencies…all taken care of!"

Ah, that explained what Taiga was babbling on about.

"While I can't deny its effectiveness, I just…please don't do it often. I find that kind of thing distasteful." Ilya nodded solemnly, I hope she really understood. This girl, who knew just what went on in that head of hers. Well, it was time to move on. I had messes to clean and mouths that needed feeding. Clapping my hands to try to dispel the mood I started to pick up the mess that was the dining room. "But enough of this sourness, it's time for us to clean up. Once we're done here, who wants to go out for breakfast?"

**The Three T's of Victory**

A lone woman sat propped up against a tree, her shaking body clutching to the bark. The ground in front of her was charred black, with no trace of whatever caused it remaining within her sight. But, in the end, such things were irrelevant. The pain and hatred, they were the only things that kept her from succumbing. All she could see around her was forest, yet she held that single image of betrayal in her mind. That cursed bastard, he had double-crossed her and had taken _something_ precious from her. She could not forgive him for taking _that_ away.

As for what was taken and who had taken it again? She couldn't recall.

All the same, she now had the tool for her revenge. A deformed arm, flapping about like a wing with the woman's every shudder, hung from her right shoulder. It was an abomination, a cursed thing that did not match its owner. Such a thing did not belong attached to such a beautiful woman, and yet it was.

The woman stood up and slowly trudged out of the wood, the aberrant arm dragging against the forest floor like a limp ribbon. Wherever the fingers touched, a trail of dark-red blood was left behind. Black smoke began to coalesce around her body, solidifying into pitch-black cloak that hid her form from view.

And with a gust of wind, she vanished. All that was left behind was an inhuman laugh caught on the wind.

_[Break]_

I chose Arrows to be the skill Rider referenced because it was a reactionary thing, it intercepts projectiles. Taiga could have been classified as a projectile, thus smacked out of the way. Thus we have a mess made of Taiga.

As for the Bazett (yes, it was her) summoning Assassin I got the idea from re-watching that Fate/Zero episode where Kirei got his Command Seals back. I had wondered if someone with enough motivation could get replacements for the seals if they were stolen. Given that there was an open spot in the Master roster of course. (These events happened before Shirou's meeting with Kotomine.)

Of course, things didn't work out for her and she ended up summoning Hassan using her own body as a medium. It saved her life, but the Servant will poison her mind.

With the gattai-ness, I got the idea from the fact that Servants are primarily spirits, and what do spirits often do? Possess people. Surely summoning a spirit to possess your body is easier than forcing it into a solid form, and more cost-effective too. And as long as Bazett can provide the prana, willingly or not, Assassin will be able to remain within her body...like symbiotic creature...or a parasite. The corporeal aspects of the Servant are spilling over, filling in for what the host is missing. Like a cup of water overflowing. Thus Zabiniya attached to her stump. I thought it was a nice coincidence that Bazett was missing the same arm that Hassan uses for his NP.

And with the Hitman Reborn reference, I am having this take place in 2005. Ten years after Zero, which supposedly took place in 1995. The Reborn manga began serialization in early-mid 2004.


	6. Chapter 6

Well, here is the next chapter. I really had to force it to get it out, but here it is.

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Chapter 6_

I was dreaming again, of memories that weren't mine. I dreamt of _that boy _and I dreamt of _that woman_ once more. Yet…it was so much clearer than last time, so much more vibrant. There were no fireworks, there were no fireflies. There was no sadness, no melancholy. There was just a house, with those two within.

It was just a field day, nothing for his mother to get all excited over. A young boy stood at the entranceway to his house, an embarrassed frown on his face. And no, he wouldn't wear those bloomers again. He didn't care what she said about them being 'battle gear of the highest caliber'. Those things chafed like nothing else.

"But you look so adorable in them! Why won't you wear them for mama?"

A beautiful woman, clad in a midriff-baring cheerleader outfit that was about two sizes too small for her, stood blocking the door. She was holding a pair of dark blue school-issue bloomers, trying to force them in the boy's face. The boy, clad in a loose gym uniform, was staunchly refusing to even look at them.

"The last time you wore them, everyone was so happy. They were smiling the whole day!"

The boy cringed. That was them laughing _at_ him, not _with_ him. He should have known that mom was tricking him that day, yet he listened anyway. The other kids still hadn't forgotten that yet! And besides, shouldn't they be talking about her outfit instead? It was borderline obscene!

"But Shirou, this was what mama wore for your last sports meet."

The woman proceeded to examine her choice of attire, stretching out parts of it towards her face in order to get a closer look. This was awkward for the boy; for he had discovered that she wasn't wearing a bra underneath the shirt.

"There wasn't any problem with it then, was there? I don't think anyone objected to it when I came to cheer you on."

The boy sighed. There was quite the commotion made over that outfit when she came dressed in it last time, so, yes, there was a problem regardless of whether anyone 'objected' to it. Plus that was four years ago, soon after they met, and she wasn't quite as thin as she used to be. His mother barely ever left the house these days, just lazing around and eating whatever he put in front of her. Which was actually somewhat worrying in itself, but still…what else did she think was going to happen? Besides, that thing was tiny to begin with.

"You're saying your mother is fat?"

The boy slowly backed away from the woman, her tone having taken on an ominous feel. No, not fat. Just…she was just not as svelte as she used to be. So what if she was a bit softer around the edges? It just made her more fun to hug. Nearly everything went to her boobs anyway, so it wasn't anything to agonize over.

Yet, she apparently thought it was.

Grabbing a pinch of her midsection, the woman panicked at what she saw. The boy shook his head at this. Really, why hadn't his mother noticed that before now?

"Aaah, I _have_ gained weight! Shirou, mama doesn't want to be a butterball!"

The boy didn't think she was anything like a butterball, nor did anyone else. The other school moms were already jealous, and his mother's pointless worrying would probably send them over the edge should she meet them at the event like this. Her beauty combined with her apparent agelessness was a point that they just couldn't get over, and so they were always a bit hostile around the woman. It left her a bit isolated around the other families, not that it seemed to bother her much.

The boy glanced towards the blocked exit. Weren't they getting a bit off topic? He was going to be late at this rate.

"Ah, of course, we can worry about this later. You have events to win!"

The woman was brought out of her funk, seemingly forgetting about what she was worrying about earlier. She raised one of her pompoms in the air and gave it a shake.

"If you don't forget about mama's Three T's of Victory you will win for sure!"

Looking at the woman confusedly, the boy tilted his head. The what now?

"Hmm, haven't I told you about those before? The Three T's are a surefire way to beat any opponent! First there is Terror! If you feel your adrenaline pumping with mind-numbing fear, you can perform feats that would normally be impossible! The second is Triumph! And that is what you feel when you win! The third is…well, I haven't thought of that one yet! But don't worry; it will come to me eventually."

The boy leaned against the wall and let out another sigh. His mother was the same as ever. The woman, clad in a cheerleader outfit made entirely out of red-trimmed black ribbons, rubbed the boy's head. She chuckled at the boy's exasperated expression.

"Have fun, and don't forget the promise you made to mama."

The boy nodded. Of course he would remember. That was the only thing he lived for after all.

"Good boy. Thanks to papa we will never know when that day will come, so you should always be prepared. Just know that mama won't be around to help you then. After all, it will be your turn to help her."

The boy frowned at the mention of his father, Kiritsugu. He hated it when his mother talked about that man, as she always seemed sad. His father had hurt her, and that was unforgivable. Then again, if his father never did _that_…then he wouldn't have been a position to meet his mother. Meeting her was what gave him purpose, so he was quite confused on how to feel about the situation.

"Kiritsugu has paid for what he did, so there is no need to feel any animosity towards him anymore. Plus everything has turned out for the better, so what he did was a good thing in the long run."

The boy nodded. That was good, now he didn't have to dwell on that today.

"Now it's time for you to get going, it seems that we have a visitor that I need to address."

Ah, things are getting strange again. She just winked at me, three times. Too many eyes…_four is too many eyes_!

"You _really_ shouldn't be here."

**The Three T's of Victory**

The trip to go eat was, thankfully, without excitement. Both Ilya and the Servants were alternating between looking at the sights – what little there were – and keeping up a quiet, and thankfully cordial, conversation with each other. Our little group attracted quite a few strange looks, not that anyone but I noticed it.

Really, I thought that the heroes would have a better situational awareness.

In the end we settled on a small café situated at the corner of the shopping district. Saber had decided to go into spirit-form, hiding in an alleyway before vanishing, both to attract less attention and because he couldn't fit his huge frame through the door. Truth be told, I was quite relieved at his decision. His presence was sure to unsettle the other patrons at the restaurant. Even so, I still got strange looks upon entering the establishment. Probably wondering if I was a pedophile or something, they wouldn't believe that I was actually Ilya's brother unless I stopped dying my hair.

Which is something I might do, it would probably save me a whole lot of trouble when trying to explain my relation to Ilya. Although I would attract a whole lot more attention like that, so I was still not sure.

Due to it being quite early on a Sunday morning, the café was still largely empty. Only a few businessmen, nursing cups of coffee and/or tea, were around. That left most of the tables open. Sitting down at one of the window-side tables, with Ilya and Rider following suit, I waved one of the waitresses over. She gave our group an odd look before taking our orders like nothing was unusual, much to my relief.

"Master, may I speak to you for a moment?" Rider, sitting next to me, poked my elbow. He was being awfully hesitant, which was odd. Usually the Servant would just speak what was on his mind…everything that was on his mind. It must be something quite serious or personal if he was like this. Well, maybe not _that_ personal, because he wasn't trying to hide it from Ilya. We had time before our orders came anyway, so why not? "Did you have any strange dreams last night?"

"Not that I can recall, why do you ask?" That was a strange thing to ask. Sure, someone might have nightmares after going through what I did yesterday. But it wasn't like that would have been a big deal, unless he was worried about the possibility of me not sleeping affecting my ability to assist him in the War.

Seeing my confused expression, Ilya took a load off my shoulders by explaining.

"Onii-chan, he is probably wondering if you had started to see his memories as a dream. It's part of the whole Master/Servant bond." Ilya, sitting across from me, nodded in Rider's direction. She started to absentmindedly fold one of the napkins on the table, shaping it into a sword. "Sometime soon, you two will start sharing memories of your lives when you sleep. I have already relived some of Saber's life, and vice versa, it's completely normal."

"Ah, I see." Kotomine failed to tell me about that. Maybe he didn't find it important. Or maybe he was just being an ass, either one was plausible. Nodding to Ilya with a silent 'thank you', I turned to address Rider again. "Still, what prompted you to ask about this now?"

In response Rider seemed to fold in on himself, nervously poking his fingers together, he avoided looking at me for a moment.

"There's no real reason. I was just wondering if you had seen anything." Perhaps there was something embarrassing that he hoped I wouldn't see? I mean, it's to be expected that there are parts of his history that he would rather not be brought back up.

He was still human after all.

"I'll let you know when that starts happening. I will probably have a few questions anyway, so I won't keep what I see a secret." I smiled at him, hoping to alleviate his concerns. Rider nodded, but didn't look relieved at all. In fact, he seemed to be even worse off. It was such a stark contrast to his usual attitude that it left both Ilya and me stumped on what to say. I wondered what Saber thought about all this, he was probably standing behind his Master and observing this whole thing.

Thankfully for everyone here, our orders came then.

Upon seeing the sundae – something that Ilya had recommended, as she had gotten the same – he ordered, Rider immediately cheered up, apparently pushing the earlier conversation to the back of his mind, and started shoveling the contents down his gullet. Of course he soon paid the price for such an action with an ice-cream headache.

"Uwaaa! Master, enemy attack! Mental interference magecraft that gets through my Resistance…it must be Caster!" Rider whispered harshly at us, clutching his head in pain. "Hide yourselves!"

"Rider, that's just brain freeze, not a form of magecraft. It's nothing to worry about. " I sighed while reaching over to rub his temples. Rider, having started to literally purr at my touch, let out a confused sounding moan. "That's what happens when you eat ice-cream too fast…and have it for breakfast. Besides, it's a one-way trip to bad teeth. That goes for you too Ilya."

"_Imm-brffm-mm-miigh!"_

She seemed to have the same problem as Rider did; what a pair of morons. I was sure that Saber would at least eat like a human being, despite looking the least human out of all of us. "Don't talk with your mouth full, it's rude."

"_Rm-hbffn-phnna-nh-iig!"_ Ilya began pouting. Of course, the effect was ruined by her face still being stuffed like an oversized chipmunk. Swallowing what was in her mouth, she amended her statement. "I mean, you're being a nag just like Sella, onii-chan. It's not attractive."

"I'll be a nag as long as it's necessary, Ilya. Attractiveness has nothing to do with it." I stopped massaging Rider, eliciting a disappointed grunt from the Servant, and poked Ilya's forehead. "And whoever this Sella is seems to have a good head on her shoulders."

Clapping my hands, I turned my attention to my own food. "Well, enough of this. Let's eat…slowly this time, all right?"

**The Three T's of Victory**

After breakfast, the decision was made to go shopping for clothes. Ilya, having run away from her maids (for now), lacked more than what Saber had brought with him in a suitcase. Rider, of course, lacked anything more than what he wore on his back. Saber himself could use something other than his slightly undersized suit; it might help him blend in better.

Aw, who was I kidding? That guy stood out like nothing else, changing his clothes wouldn't change that.

While the whole thing was Ilya's idea, it was Rider who seemed the most excited. He was happily dragging me along by my arm, even though he had no idea where he was going. Due to that, we nearly missed our destination; the department store. The Servant just dragged me right by the entrance, completely ignoring my struggles. It took Saber blocking his path, and I to command that he not just up and disappear to somewhere strange, for him to listen to us, so lost was he in his delusions.

Luckily the doors were wide enough to allow Saber admittance, even if the security guard stationed there seemed to hope for the opposite.

Upon entering the shop's foyer, it took all of Saber's strength to keep both Rider and Ilya under check. They wanted to go explore the entirety of the store, a surefire way to get lost. Plus who knew what kind of trouble they could get into? My budget was already going to inevitably head towards the red with all these new complications, most of it would probably be put towards food. I wouldn't want to have to pay for any broken or damaged merchandise; that would bankrupt me.

Making our way over to the clothing section, Ilya's eyes lit up. She ended up making a beeline for the female side with Rider close on her heels. They didn't get along, yet when it came to girly things they seemed to be on the same page. While I didn't know whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, I just decided to enjoy them not being at the other's throat for a time.

Surely nothing wrong would come of that, right?

The pair went through the racks like a tornado, taking whatever they found interesting with them. Shirts, blouses, skirts, unmentionables…it all went into a pile on top of Saber. I was hoping Rider would at least grab some pants, but wishing that quickly proved to be futile. He ignored them in favor of the skirts, the really _really_ short skirts. And then, without preamble, they dived for the changing rooms, taking the majority of Saber's pile with them.

The giant Servant nodded to me and began to put back what was left. Thankfully he remembered where they came from, as I sure as hell didn't.

After what seemed like ages, Rider and Ilya came out wearing identical pairs of translucent negligee. From the outlines of their bodies, and their nipples, they weren't wearing anything underneath. With Rider I had come to expect that, but I had hoped Ilya would at least keep her underwear on. Little sisters were more trouble than I had expected.

"How do you like this Onii-chan/Master?" With a synchronized curtsey, the two revealed their soft creamy thighs. _It_ was even dangling right there within sight, poking out the bottom of Rider's frilled skirt. The pink tip was exposed for the world to see, causing me to blush uncontrollably. Why couldn't I look away? It seemed that I was still not used to my Servant being a boy, I began to think that I wouldn't ever be. It was enough to stress my mind to its limits.

Of course, then Rider had to start swinging his hips.

"D-dammit you two, that's hardly appropriate. We're in public!" I panicked, covering my face with my hands. There were security cameras all over the place. It was one thing to prance around near-naked within the house – not that I approved of it – but it was another to do so in public. God knows how many people were watching, I was too young to be arrested as a sex-offender! Taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain control of my emotions, I shook my head. "Besides, there is no way that I am buying you two those flimsy…things. From what I've heard, those kinds of negligee are usually freakishly expensive anyway."

"Aw Master, you know you love it." T-that was irrelevant! Dammit, why did they have to actually work together now of all times? "Come on, for me?"

Damn puppy dog eyes, there was no way that they weren't using some kind of magecraft on me. Thankfully Saber seemed immune and merely walked over, carefully stripped them of the lingerie, and tossed the two back into the changing room, not saying a word. He nodded to me, and went to put those _things_ back where they came from. I really hoped they didn't have anything else like that with them in there; I surely wouldn't survive another assault like that.

And, of course, it turned out they did. I had to weather out a storm of small skirts, tight tops, revealing underwear, skimpy bikinis, and even a playboy bunny outfit thrown in for good measure. Why did the store even stock those last ones? Soon enough people around us had started to look at our group suspiciously, but Saber was able to keep them away with his mere presence. If it weren't for him, I was sure that I would've been questioned by security by now.

After Saber convinced the two to choose a few more 'normal' outfits, despite the fact that I was sure that they managed to sneak in a few less savory articles somehow, we made our way to the register. In the end Ilya hadn't gotten much, as she had most of what she needed already, but had a few sundresses draped over her tiny arms. If she intended to stay in Fuyuki after the war, she would need some clothing for a warmer climate after all. Rider, however, got quite the selection…all of it female clothing of course. Trying to convince him to buy anything else was an exercise in futility, the damn cross dresser.

I had asked Saber if he wanted anything, but he declined. He said that he had enough back at the Einzbern's castle…wait, they had a _castle_ somewhere in the city?

Checkout was a pain. The cashier nearly had a nervous breakdown when he saw Saber, so much so that he nearly bolted when we approached. The poor kid – he was vaguely familiar looking, probably an underclassmen of mine – looked like a small animal in front of a predator. His hands were shaking as he took the clothing, causing him to fumble and drop what was in his hands periodically. This process repeated itself with nearly every article he held, making for a long wait.

Finally, after paying (more than what I had hoped) for the clothes, we left the department store. Hopefully we wouldn't have to return anytime soon, I just knew I would not make it out next time. Saber ended up being the one to carry the bags, not that this was surprising in the least, leaving my arms free to be claimed by my sister and my Servant. With Rider on my left and Ilya on my right, there was no avenue for escape.

On our way back, Rider continuously babbled on about how the clothing of this era was different from that of his. While normally I would probably find this fascinating, the speed at which Rider spoke made anything that came out of his mouth nearly unintelligible. Ilya, however, seemed to understand perfectly and added her thoughts whenever she found an opening. Heracles was as silent as ever.

If it had remained like this for the remainder of the trip home, it would have been fine. Sure, I might have been a bit sore and grumpy, probably unable to appreciate the peacefulness of the stroll like I did now. However, this was not to be. I was not paying attention to where I was going, being too focused on the two monkeys latched onto my limbs, and I did not notice that all the pedestrians had vanished. Nor did I see that the buildings lining the street had all gone dark, the windows showing no one within.

It took the appearance of the black scar falling from the sky to snap me out of my little world. The black scar – for that was the only way I could describe it, as it looked less like a shadow and more like an open wound on the face of reality – just stood there on the street in front of our little group. Upon closer inspection I noticed that it looked vaguely human, having four distinct limbs sticking out from its indistinct center.

And where its face should have been, I was greeted by the sight of a bone-white skull.

"Master," Saber rumbled, his face a stoic mask, "it would seem that Assassin has appeared."

That was Servant Assassin? But it felt so different from both Rider and Saber, so…_wrong_.

"Indeed." Ilya let go of my arm, taking a step back toward her Servant. In response, he giant slowly put the shopping bags down, stretching his arm protectively over his Master. "I have to admit, this is a bit unexpected. Assassins generally don't reveal themselves to their targets."

Rider, also disengaged from my arm, donned his armor with a flash of light. Drawing his sword, he stood in-between me and the unnatural presence in front. "Master, please stay behind me. Although it is acting strange, Assassins first and foremost target the Masters."

I nodded and took a step back, lowering my center of gravity in preparation to bolt. The only method of self-defense that I had was the wire spool that I had stored in my pocket, something that I always carried with me. Sure, it could be a lethal weapon in the right hands…and those certainly weren't mine. But even if I could use it to its full potential, it would be just as effective as rotted twine against a Servant.

"_Give…give him baAck."_

Its speech was just as unnatural as the rest of it, a hissing noise that sounded more like a death-rattle than actual words. The sound seemed strangled somehow, even hitching at the end, and I could not discern the gender of the Servant from its unholy rasping. Did that thing even have a gender to be discerned in the first place? I certainly had no desire to get close enough to find out. As if sensing my thoughts, the scar suddenly charged in my direction.

"_Giiive HiIiim baAaack to MEeEee!"_

And that was how my day went to shit.

_[Break]_

**Author's Note: **Nothing really of note to say. The four eyes should ring a bell with some of you, but who knows? I have a headache threatening to split my head in two, and thus I am really out of it. So this is about it in the way of author's notes.

Ah, the cashier was Minori Mitsuzuri. Just a little bit of pointless connection. Yeah...


	7. Chapter 7

And here is the next chapter...or rather what I managed to cobble together in the form of a chapter. I hope it is of decent quality.**  
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**The Three T's of Victory**

Charging at me like a bull, Assassin seemed to glide across the asphalt of the empty road. Its right arm, bound in a cast made out of leather straps, was raised over its head like a club. Rider intercepted the weaponized limb with the sharp edge of his sword, yet the blade did not even scratch the straps that were containing it. The distorted Servant immediately retaliated with a left hook, taking Rider off guard and knocking him into a nearby building.

"Saber, end this quickly! No one touches onii-chan without my permission!" At Ilya's _interesting_ shout Saber dashed forward with a speed that belied his great size, his suit being replaced by a large skirt made out of metal plating. Raising his right arm up to strike, a large broadsword appeared in his hand. The giant brought the giant slab of metal down, attempting to bisect Assassin in one smooth motion. The smaller Servant, however, wouldn't let this come to pass. It seemed to flow around the side of the blade like smoke, snaking up Saber's arm without a sound.

The shadowed figure immediately went for Saber's face, pulling out a black dagger once it reached his shoulder. In one smooth motion it impaled the giant's eye, sticking the dagger in the socket all the way up to its hilt. Using its foot to push the weapon into its target's brain, Assassin vaulted off Saber with a flip. Landing a few meters away, the scar just stood there as if waiting for Ilya's Servant to fall.

If that was what it wanted, then it would be sorely disappointed.

Saber merely reached up and casually pulled the offending weapon out of his own head, taking his ruined eye with it. The giant didn't seem to care about the missing organ, staring Assassin down with the remaining one. And then, with a bubbling hiss, Saber's missing eye regenerated. Whatever damage Assassin did had vanished, making it as if nothing ever happened. A Servant with regenerative capabilities like that…I was never gladder that he was on our side.

Unfortunately the same could not be said of Assassin.

Taking this in stride, the enemy Servant decided to go for an easier target; Me. Pulling out more daggers from somewhere, all in its left hand of course, Assassin threw them at my face in an attempt to make me into a pincushion. But before I was pierced by the flying blades, Rider appeared in front of me and deflected the projectiles with a swing of his sword. He seemed to have recovered from the previous assault, and it was apparent that he was looking for payback.

"_GiIiiVe him baAack!"_

With a distorted yell, Assassin charged at my guard. But before it got within range of my Servant's blade, it seemed to vanish. Then, without warning, Rider was assaulted from behind, a fist impacting the small of his back. Nearly collapsing to the ground, Rider swung his sword blindly behind him in an attempt to decapitate his attacker. Needless to say, this didn't work. Assassin threw back its head with a loud crack, narrowly avoiding the blade going for its neck. The scar then jumped back and grasped the side of a telephone pole, clinging there like a monstrous spider.

"_Ki. Kikikikikikikikiki!"_

Hanging upside-down with its head dangling listlessly about its shoulders, Assassin didn't seem bothered by the fact that its neck was broken. Looking closely one could spot a shock of red hair hanging out of its pitch-black cloak, and a twisted grin peeking out of the edge of its bone-white mask. What was with all these guys and ignoring obviously fatal wounds? Rider, growing increasingly irate at this attacker, angrily chucked his sword at the Servant. When Assassin merely scurried up the pole, the blade sticking cleanly in the wood where Assassin's torso once was, Rider exploded.

"That. Is. _IT!_ I can't take this anymore! Master, clench your jaw and cover your ears! I don't ever want to this guy's masked face again!" Rider started fuming, stamping his foot childishly. With a flourish of his cape, the Servant reached for his belt and unclipped the hunting horn. Bringing it to his pink lips, he blew a single note. That note became two, and the two became four. As the horn started to expand, slowly twisting around Rider's body, more and more notes were played. Tubes, valves, slides, spines, and even a second bell came into being, all bursting from the central pipe. The cacophony of sound became more and more complicated with every addition to the 'instrument', the dissonant notes grating on my ears.

And then all was silent.

But that was only the lead up to the main event, merely a pause for an intake of breath. A sudden wall of sound crashed into my eardrums, a blaring shockwave of absolute noise. Run, my every instinct told me to run away. That bellowing tune vibrated through my bones and played on my most primal fears; it made me feel like a mouse in front of a very hungry cat. My brain began twisting in on itself, my breath beginning to falter. I had to get away, I needed to get away.

"_Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"_

An ear-piercing scream rang throughout the area. It seemed that despite how bad off I was; Assassin was worse. Managing to force my head up from the kneeling position that I found myself in, I saw that the enemy Servant had fallen from the telephone pole and was scrambling around on the ground. It turned its dangling head towards the source of the horrid noise, and then, with one last screech, Assassin slowly vanished in a cloud of black smoke.

For a few moments there was nothing but the barrage of sound coming from Rider, then only silence.

With the opponent having disappeared, Rider had stopped playing his oversized instrument. With a sound reminiscent of a deflating tire, the horn returned to its original shape. Clipping it back on his belt, the Servant walked over to the pole and retrieved his sword. Having the weapon back once again in its sheath, he collapsed bonelessly to the ground. Rider leaned his back against the pole with a sigh, his excess armor disappearing into particles of light.

What the hell…was that? Now that my life wasn't at risk, my mind went into overdrive. Weren't Servants supposed to be the spirits of past Heroes? That thing wasn't even human, that thing couldn't have been human! And what was with Rider's horn? Was that one of those Noble Phantasm things Kotomine talked about? I couldn't say that it was anything like I had expected one to be like. I was thinking they were more along the line of swords that shot laser beams or something, not that this wasn't amazing in its own right. Chalk that up to a bit of remaining childish idealism.

"Rider, next time give us a proper warning before unleashing that Noble Phantasm." So it _was_ a Noble Phantasm! Saber, walking up to us, shook his head at Rider. Ilya, riding on her Servant's shoulder, looked a bit shaken, but otherwise was in better condition than I was. "If my Master wasn't special, you would have given her a heart attack. You nearly gave one to Master Shirou anyway."

"It wasn't like there was any time to." Rider glared at the giant, but there wasn't much heat behind it. "You think I enjoyed causing my Master to suffer? That _thing_ was too dangerous to keep around, and now we have until it appears again to make up a plan. That is unless you had any better ideas?"

"I don't mean to sound arrogant, but my Noble Phantasm would have surely killed it." Saber then poked the pixie on his shoulder with a meaty finger, causing her to giggle. "And with Ilya announcing my name to all who will listen, I don't have to worry about my identity being exposed through it."

"…Ah, so all that was for nothing." Rider rubbed the back of his neck, mumbling under his breath. Flopping forward onto his chest, he looked up at Saber with a weary expression. "I suppose that it is a better idea...but it's all in the past and I'm too tired to really care at the moment, you can continue to bother me about it later."

And with that, Rider closed his eyes. It appeared that he had fallen asleep right there on the street; I guess that horn thing took quite a bit out of him. Still, we couldn't just leave him here. Dragging the guy back home would be a pain though, and we'd probably end up looking even more suspicious than we already did. Thankfully Saber took care of (at least the first part of) that problem, as he tended to do with all problems he was faced with. Of course, we wouldn't have the problem in the first place if Rider just dematerialized instead of collapsing.

Why he seemed so reluctant to do so, to the point that it left him defenseless at times, I may never know.

Hefting the unconscious Rider up on his unoccupied shoulder, the giant then, on an order from Ilya, started walking towards home. I shook my head free of the remaining fuzziness and followed, sticking around here was just asking for more trouble. Who knew when that _thing_ could return?

And then, as if a switch was flipped, the world started moving again. People started to walk down the sidewalk, and the stores lining the road were suddenly active. Whatever spell was over the street was now gone, a promising sign that Assassin was no longer in the area.

And all the more reason to get out of here, I didn't want to know what the police would do once they saw the damage we did to the street.

"Onii-chan, once we get home I want more ice-cream!"

It seemed that we had a glutton on our hands.

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Did you manage to get all that, Archer?" On the top of a building near to where the Servant Assassin had appeared stood a well-dressed blonde, her hair fashioned into ornate curls. Judging by how she stood at the edge of the roof without fear, she had the appearance of being very comfortable with high places. Addressing a tall man, a Servant, at her side, the young woman grinned savagely. "Lucky us; it turned out to be a wonderful time to take an early morning stroll."

"Of course, what do you take me for?" The Servant, clad entirely in red and black, crossed his arms. That giant, wasn't he supposed to be a Berserker? The man's memories of his lifetime may have been foggy, but that hunk of grey muscle roaring at him like a mad beast was something that he probably would never forget. "And I still think that it would have been a good idea to launch a sneak attack on that Master while his Servant was busy. The alliance between Ber-_Saber_ and Rider is potentially the most dangerous in this War, getting rid of that can only be in our favor."

"No, Archer. That just isn't my style. Besides, becoming allies with something like that Assassin, for however short a time, would leave a bad taste in my mouth." With a huff, she turned her back on the former battle scene and started walking towards the fire escape stairs. That was the end of it as far as she was concerned; her pride wouldn't allow anything else. "Getting back on subject, did you manage to find out who Rider was through her Noble Phantasm? Something like that has to be quite distinctive."

"Unfortunately not, there are quite a few heroes with magical horns. Joshua of Jericho would be the most famous, though I seriously doubt that he is our Rider here." Giving the street below one last glance, the Servant went to follow his Master. "Given her outfit and choice of weapon, she most likely hails from a European nation. But we'd need to see more of what that Servant has to offer before we can be certain of anything."

"And the best way to do that is through direct conflict. Come on Archer, we have plans to make." The woman smirked. "We're attacking tonight!"

**The Three T's of Victory**

Despite my expectations, no one attacked us on the way home. Be it Servants who wanted to kill us, or policemen who wanted to arrest us. I'd have to ask Raiga to see if he could do something about the latter, maybe he'd be able to keep the cops away from me.

That guy had them wrapped around his finger after all.

And of course, to add insult to injury, it appeared that I had misplaced my house key during the fight. If it weren't for me fetching the spare posthaste, Ilya would have surely ordered the gate's door broken down. And I wasn't sure that I could get the gate properly repaired if that were to happen, with the house being as old as it was.

Upon entering the foyer, Saber dropped Rider on the floor unceremoniously. Impacting the ground elicited a groan from the sleeping Servant, but he stayed unconscious…or whatever Servants have that passes for unconsciousness. The giant set Ilya down much more gently, and moved on to put the shopping bags in the dining room. The bags thankfully survived the assault, I was glad since I really didn't want to have to go back to that store anytime soon.

With a sigh, I picked up Rider in a bridal carry and started towards his room. He was certainly heavier than he looked, though that was probably due to all the metal he wore. Reaching up and sliding the door open with my socked foot, something that I had practice with from carrying heavy packages around the house, I saw that Rider hadn't even touched the futon I set out for him last night. Somehow I had the feeling that Ilya's would be in the same condition.

Setting him down on the futon, I noticed that something wasn't quite right. Rider's face was flushed red, and he was panting slightly. A bit of saliva was dribbling down his lower lip, slowly flowing over the pink skin…_dammit!_ Rider was apparently coming down with something; this was no time to appreciate how soft his…_gah!_ Hopefully Ilya would know what to do; she had a surprising amount of knowledge on how the Servants functioned.

Maybe that was what all proper Masters knew?

If not, then I would pay a visit to Father Kotomine. Sure, he said not to come back unless I was asking for protection from the church…but rules never really mattered to him. I mean, if they did, then he wouldn't have helped my mother back then.

After making sure my Servant was settled, I went to find Ilya. It turned out that she was already in her room, tearing through her new dresses. Inspecting each one for little more than a second, she threw them behind her before reaching for the next. She just got the darn things and already they were strewn across the floor, this didn't bode well for the rest of her stay here. Maybe her maids would come by; it seemed that she really needed cleaning up after, something that was more than I could handle alone.

But that was beside the point, Rider was in trouble.

"Excuse me, Ilya." Ilya jumped at my voice, apparently she was so absorbed in what she was doing that she didn't notice my approach. This had the side effect of making all the clothes in her lap fly about the room, landing practically everywhere…like on my head. "Uh…"

"Geez onii-chan, this is what you get for sneaking up on me like that!" I wasn't sneaking, nothing of the sort! I even knocked. Your situational awareness needed work, Ilya. After getting a look at my face, she tilted her head cutely. "Hmm, you look like something is bothering you. Do you need me for something? Or did you just want to be with your adorable little sister so bad that you couldn't stand it~?"

I was pretty sure that wasn't ever going to be the reason.

"Ah, yes, it appears that Rider has come down with some kind of fever. I don't know if Servants can get sick like we do, but the timing is just too perfect for it to be normal. I'm wondering if it's because of that Servant that assaulted us, like a delayed attack…or some kind of poison…or something." Shaking my head, Ilya's previously flying garment falling off, I sighed. That attack really shook me up, more than I let out. "I may be overreacting, but if it's that Assassin…well, I worry."

Ilya nodded her head at this, her small fingers scratching her chin.

"Take me to him; I'll see what I can find out." Her tone was surprisingly serious, something that I hadn't heard often in the short time I'd known her. Hopefully Rider's condition would be less so. With his ridiculous luck these events would end up favoring him…normally, as the strange book that Tohsaka gave me indicated, but that abomination seemed to disregard it completely during our encounter.

Hardly a comforting thought.

Leading Ilya to the room where I had placed my Servant, I could see her nodding to herself. When I asked what that was about, she said that she was going over the fight with Assassin in her head. Apparently it was to see if there were any instances where that Servant could've poisoned Rider. If so…then she certainly had a better memory that I did. That conflict was just one big blur to me; I guess I just wasn't used to those kinds of things. Though I supposed that I should hurry up and change that if I wanted to survive this, others could – and most likely would – take advantage my unfamiliarity with this War.

…I was getting off track again, bad habit. Being a complete scatterbrain was probably something I picked up from Mother.

Opening the sliding door with a clack, we entered Rider's room. The Servant, counter to my expectations, had awakened and was still laying down in the futon. Rider was usually all over the place, so this, while a pleasant change of pace, was worrying. Looking up at us with perspiration falling off his bangs, the Servant gave a strained, and lopsided, grin.

"I can see the issue here." Ilya's voice sounded from behind my left shoulder. She purposefully strode towards the bedridden Servant, checking him over with a critical eye. "At a glance, I don't think this is anything to worry about quite yet, most likely simple prana-deprivation from activating his Noble Phantasm. Although _why_ Rider is suffering from it is a problem, he should recover in time _if he stays astralized._" With this Ilya glared at the prone Servant. "But, I suppose, better safe than sorry."

And with that said, she pulled out a rubber glove from somewhere, slapping it on with a devious grin.

"Alright Rider, bend over."

…

"_Aaiiyowhn~!"_

**The Three T's of Victory**

"So this is where they've sequestered themselves." Standing outside an old Japanese-style gate, a high-class lady snorted derisively. "Hardly an appropriate fortress befitting this War, don't you think? There isn't even a remedial defensive boundary field anywhere around the grounds! What kind of magus is that careless? Well, I guess that means that they just won't know what hit 'em!

Let's go, Archer!"

_[Break]_

**Author's Note: **And there we go. As for why Astolfo will not go into spirit form, that will be answered later. Besides, he can't get into trouble if he is a disembodied ghost-thing all the time. And that wouldn't be any fun.


	8. Chapter 8

And here, after nearly a year, this comes back. And now I can procrastinate for another year before I have to shovel another chapter out.

Kidding...maybe...

This was basically just something I added to bit by bit over the months, so I hope it works out

**The Three T's of Victory**

This dream does not have a beginning, but it has an end. The happy world containing only_ the boy_ and _the woman_ is coming to a close.

A young boy sat cross-legged in the middle of a battered cement shed, his arms, elbows perched on his knees, supported his chin. He should have noticed it earlier, the signs were everywhere! But in the end it took him spotting his mother coughing up black gunk in the sink, similar to the stuff he excreted when he forgot to take his medicine, to finally accept that something was truly wrong. When he had asked if taking something like his medicine would make her better, she said that it wasn't anything as simple as that.

The boy sighed. The woman was dying, no doubt about it.

All things born on this earth were destined to die; it was something that she had told him herself. His mother even said that she was rapidly running out of time. But still, that didn't make it any easier for the boy. Why her, why now? Was she really going to leave him alone? Sure, Fuji-nee came over every once and a while to mooch off of them, and the boy had recently become friends with this strange girl at school, but they were worth nothing compared to her.

_All of humanity was worth nothing when compared to her._

His skills at his chosen field were terrible, and his knowledge lacking. Despite all that his mother had taught him, the boy had no talent for the alchemical process. There was very little he could do to try and help, at least at the moment. In the end, all he could do was study. He would live, with a smile on his face, all the while preparing for that day.

The day of his promise, when he-_clack_

The sound of a door sliding open interrupted whatever _the boy_ was going to say.

**The Three T's of Victory**

This is what I wanted, right? With this, I can end the circle of torment and prevent another from starting. And as long as I am with Luvia, Rin is out of harm's – and, I suppose, my – way. She might even be out of the War completely. While I don't doubt she will try to stick her neck in at times, without a Servant there is little she can, and hopefully will, do.

Yet, why do I still hesitate? A moment's pause could spell my end against Ilya's Servant, so I must do away with my worries. Luvia's not a bad person, at least from what little I recall of her. So even should I fail to create a paradox, it's not like she would use the Grail for anything untoward. Her goal is probably the same as Rin's; the two are more similar than either would like to admit.

But still…what's holding me back?

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Did you really have to do that?"

"Nope, I just felt like it." Ilya put her hands on her hips while grinning and stared at the cowering Servant. "Come on Rider, be a man. It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Y-you just stuck your hand up my ass! That's not something a 'man' usually has to deal with, s-so I can be as prissy as I want!" …was Rider's retort. Or something along those lines at least, it was hard to tell with his face buried in by back. "I'll never let _you_ do that to me again."

"Ohoho? Does that mean it would be okay if it was onii-chan?" Ilya, why did you have to go and bring me into this? Looking at the Servant with a sly look on her face, Ilya let out an obscene-sounding giggle. "I mean, you do wear those princess ribbons, so…"

"They are not princess ribbons! They are an irresistible proof of friendship with my old ally." Irresistible what now? Well, at least we got off that strange topic. "And…and I'd gladly take anything that Master gives me."

And we were right back to the awkward.

"Well…while you guys talk that out, I'm going to take a bath." I decided that it was a good time to get out of dodge. I felt all sweaty from our earlier ordeal and wanted to clean up, so now was a good time to do it. I was totally not running away like a coward. Really. "And Rider, I have some questions for you when I'm done."

Standing up from where I had sat by Rider's bedside, I made my way out into the hallway and to the bathroom. That Rider, causing me to worry and then turning out to be completely fine…I would have to punish him later. He had to learn that there were some things that he just couldn't get away with in this household.

After entering the bathroom and stripping off most of my clothes, I started up the water. It was going to take a while to warm up, so I went to wash off my body in the meantime. Just as I filled up the basin and was about to strip off my boxers, the bounded field set around the house went off. This, unfortunately, was immediately followed by an explosion that caused even the foundation to shake.

"W-w-whoah!"

Grasping the side of the tub to stabilize myself, I was filled with relief that I hadn't yet taken off my underwear. Was this another Servant attack? It was unlikely to be Assassin again so soon, and this didn't fit into what that thing would do, so it seemed that we had attracted the attention of another Master. Dammit, Rider was in no condition to fight yet. Hopefully Saber alone could take care of this mess.

"Ilya, Rider, enemy attack!" Dashing out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around my shoulders in lieu of a shirt, I ran to the room where Ilya and my Servant were. As I was nearing the room's door, it slid open and an unconscious Rider tumbled out. It appeared that he had tried to dash outside but collapsed midway due to his own exhaustion/ineptitude. Poking her head out of the doorway after my Servant had passed, Ilya nodded to me.

"Onii-chan, I already sent Saber outside to intercept our attackers. We'll take care of this…_disturbance_ ourselves." Walking over to the prone Rider and poking him with her foot, Ilya motioned for me to carry him. "He may not be in any condition to fight, but it would be safer if Rider stayed with you. I'll go out to check up on Saber and see if I can't find the enemy Master. I shouldn't be long. Wait here, all right?"

With a curtsey and a twirl, Ilya skipped off towards the entrance. I hated having to rely on my little sister to keep me safe, as it should have been the other way around, but I knew that her Saber was easily more powerful than my Rider even on a good day (for Rider). And as I personally couldn't hope of ever matching up to even Rider's strength, I was rather helpless. Picking my Servant up in a bridal carry, I decided to put him back in the guest room and wait there until the situation changed.

Or, at least, I would have done so, had not the wall in front of me caved in under the force of a ton of flying Saber.

Glancing at the makeshift wrecking ball, I was relieved to see that the Servant was relatively uninjured. The only sign of what had hit him was the charred hole in the chest of his ever-present – and under-sized – white suit. Of course, that quickly became the last worry in my mind upon seeing what it was that had knocked Saber through my wall; the Servant Archer, standing in the yard outside with an insidious grin on his face.

Did this mean that Rin…no,_ Tohsaka had betrayed us?_ I _knew_ she couldn't be trusted.

This was not good, not good at all. Rider was still incapacitated, and he was just a sitting duck with his apparent inability to enter dematerialize (spiritualize? vanish? go-ghost? Wait…Ilya called it astralization, right?), so did that mean that Tohsaka decided to get rid of Ilya's and my alliance while it was weakened? As I made to run, Archer jumped through the wreckage and cut me off.

"We meet again, boy." The tanned Servant smirked, raising the twin swords in his hands to my head. "I hate to sound like a clichéd villain, but this time won't end up like our previous encounter. Close your eyes, I'll try to make this quick."

But moments before my neck was relieved of its vital burden, a large chunk of plaster sailed past Archer's shoulder.

"Master Shirou, run! Let me deal with this one." Saber's baritone voice called out from behind me, shocking me out of my stupor. Hesitating for only a second to secure my grip on Rider, I dashed out through the hole the Servants left in the wall. I decided that heading for the shed would be my best bet, as I had a few things there with which I could fight back.

Against Tohsaka, should she ever decide to show herself that is. Against the Servant Archer I stood no chance. My experience with Lancer was enough to teach me that. And it appeared that I was the main target here anyway, going by Archer's reaction to me at least, so I would be risking too much by getting involved.

On my way there, I spotted Ilya. She was following the trail of destruction that lead through the yard to where the Servants were fighting. Judging from her visibly peeved expression, it seemed that she had little luck in finding Archer's traitorous Master.

"I couldn't find any trace of the Master before that Servant blasted my Saber across the yard." Saying this, her face scrunched up into an adorable frown. However, upon seeing my boxer-clad form – as I had lost the towel covering my upper body during the chaos – this was quickly replaced with a blush. "O-o-onii-chan, cover yourself up!"

Hm? She had seen me in a state of further undress, so why did she seem so flustered now? Well, her personality wasn't ever really stable, being mature one moment and childish the next, so I decided to chalk it up to that. Besides, now wasn't the time to be contemplating such things.

"The Servant that is attacking us is Archer." Ilya hadn't encountered this spirit before, so I needed to tell her what I knew of him. Adjusting my grip on Rider, for while he wasn't exactly heavy – compared to the packages I routinely moved around at work at least – the jagged edges of his armor had the tendency to dig into my arms, I frowned. "His Master is Rin Tohsaka, a classmate of mine…and formerly an ally in this War. It seems that she has betrayed us though."

Traitorous bitch.

"Former…ally?" Ilya came into my life after that meeting with Tohsaka, so she wouldn't know. Although I had to admit it was less like we were allies and more like I ended up as her underling. Narrowing her eyes, Ilya's tone changed from confused to harsh. "You'll have to tell me exactly what your relationship with that woman is after this is over, alright onii-chan?"

That was not a question.

"Alright, alright." Giving a non-committal answer, I hefted my Servant and headed for the shed once more. I hoped she would forget to ask after this fight…provided that we survived. Although there was no real relation between Tohsaka and me, Ilya might end up overreacting. "Seeing as you can't find her, it would be best if you were to come with me. Saber appears to be busy with fighting Archer, so let's leave it to him. Okay?"

Ilya seemed to hesitate for a moment before nodding at me.

"Mnn! I'll just go checkup in Saber first, then I will join you in just a minute!" Before I could stop her, Ilya ran off towards giant hole that the fighting Servants left in my house. The loud crashing noises that came from within it indicated that the battle was still going strong…and was destroying more and more of my home. How was I going to explain all this to Fuji-nee?

Damn, my sheer helplessness in situations like these hit me again. I wanted to follow Ilya to make sure that she stayed safe, but I had no real method to do so. What little magecraft I knew was only suitable for assisting me in my alchemy – like fortifying a beaker to help prevent it from bursting under pressure – and my sole combat-oriented alchemy technique was completely useless against something I couldn't hit. And that was ignoring the fact that it probably wouldn't do any damage to a Heroic Spirit in the first place. Well, my workshop had a few of my more (unintentionally) dangerous 'products', so I could at least stock up on a few of those and then follow Ilya if she didn't return.

Entering the shed, thankfully unmolested, and propping Rider up against the wall, I began to search for something, _anything_ that would help me fight. I ignored my most recent project – a pathetic attempt to use Elder Futhark runes to enhance the output of an electric generator, modified to run on a fuel alchemically synthesized from materials anyone could find in their yard – alternate energy was the way of the future after all – in favor of something I could actually carry. While the generator would be good if I wanted to create a giant explosion, my faulty (and likely misplaced) carvings of the uruz rune in the casing left it highly unstable, it would likely take me out as well.

Iri had never gotten too deep into teaching me the nuances of her chosen runic alphabet before she died, so I was running on trial and error for that one.

Hit with sudden (explosive-failure related) inspiration, I delved into the cupboard that held my liquid-type concoctions, hoping that I had more of that stuff that stunned Lancer last night. Unfortunately, as I never made things in bulk due to the tendency for these types of things to expire (explosively), I only came up with three other bottles. While I knew this wouldn't do much to a Servant, it would certainly work as a distraction. It was what saved my life that one time after all.

Securing the volatile vials between my fingers in my left hand, and after making sure Rider was secure, I ran towards the house. I really hoped that Ilya was okay.

It was just a shame that in my concern for my sister I didn't notice the dark shadow following my every move…

**The Three T's of Victory**

If I could say what my biggest mistake of today was, it would have to be this; I underestimated Saber.

A sane Heracles was, without a doubt, far more dangerous than an insane one.

While his stats were certainly lower than the Heracles that I remember, that was worth nothing compared to the sharp mind that was revealed in exchange. His every move was calculated beforehand, the repercussions of every movement taken into account. The advantage gained through my surprise attack and preemptive strike was quickly overtaken by his power. My only saving grace was that his right eye seemed to not have fully recovered from the strange Assassin's strike, leaving a large blind spot for me to take advantage of. This, however, was an indication of something even greater.

_This Heracles did not have the twelve lives of God Hand._

Whether it was merely unusable, just turned off, or gone entirely was irrelevant. While he still had the hellish defense of the monster from my memories, the ungodly regeneration ability was just a pale imitation of Berserker's. God Hand would have taken care of that eye injury in a second, not leaving any trace of the wound.

This would be the key to my victory.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Running back into the middle of a dangerous situation again, I almost let out a sigh of relief despite myself. It seemed that the combat had moved from the bedroom hallway to the yard on the far side of the house (from the shed). Although I may end up being killed in a few minutes, at least the house wasn't in immediate danger of being demolished anymore. And, through that, I was now sure that the stress hadn't messed with my priorities any.

Spotting a head of white hair observing the fight while sitting on the porch, I almost felt silly for worrying. Ilya seemed to be just fine, as made obvious by her daintily swinging her legs and, apparently, humming. It seemed that she had forgotten all about returning to the relative safety of the shed, but that proved her confidence in her Servant seemed unshakable. Although, considering Tohsaka was probably still skulking around here somewhere, her confidence might have been bordering on fatal arrogance. So the safest thing right now would be to fetch Ilya and return to where Rider was resting, as I didn't want to leave the Servant alone in his condition.

Just as I was about to call out to her, I noticed something was off. More specifically, a short, thin blade was jutting out of the left side of my chest, causing my blood to spurt out with every faltering heartbeat. Well, this certainly was inconviene-

**The Three T's of Victory**

"_Revenge his foul and most unnatural murther."_

"Murther?"

"_Murther most foul, as in the best it is; But this most foul, strange, and unnatural."_

"Haste me to know't, that I, with…with wings as swift as medi-meditation or the thoughts of love, may sweep to my revenge…is that okay?"

"Good good, you're definitely getting better at this, my young Issei. Your pronunciation is a bit off, and you needn't hesitate when you think you don't have something right. If you act like you know what you're doing, then the audience will believe that any mistake you make is merely an intentional change to the script. Still, not bad considering we only started this yesterday."

"I see. Truth is, I've never really thought of taking up acting as a hobby before, Mr. Pierce. But may I ask what brings a playwright like you to Fuyuki? There aren't many venues for this type of thing in the city."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. This city shall indeed prove to be the greatest stage of all…"

"If you say so."

_[Break]_

And there we go. Also, for clarification, Issei is _not_ Shakespeare's Master. Nor is Shakes actually staying at the temple for that matter. And as for that shadow pursuing Shirou at the end, that was indeed Bazzassin. As she is not completely a spirit, she cannot astralize, but she can still use a watered-down presence-concealment. As for what Luvia has been doing this entire time, you'll find out soon enough. Same with Rin, you'll find out how she will screw this situation up even further in time.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time until someone nitpicks about the technicalities of God Hand...


	9. Chapter 9

Genre shift, genre shift! Well, 'tis the season after all.

This chapter truly marks the start of Shakespeare's role as a villain(?) in this story. He'll be starting to get involved in the War with his grand 'plan', and this will drag both Gilgamesh and Berserker out of their...seclusion. It also marks a change (mostly temporary) in the story's direction that is, generally, dependent on Shakespeare himself. All the world's a stage, and all that rot.

**The Three T's of Victory**

What was this? Where was he? I killed him, the one who took him…so why didn't this work? Why hasn't he come back to me? Why has it turned out this way? Why? Why? Why can't I remember? What happened to me? What's happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? This body, how much of it is mine? I don't recognize anything anymore…

_Rustle, rustle._

My neck…it hurts.

_Rustle, rustle_. Wh-who is it in my head? Rustle, rustle. It won't stop! Spiders, crawling around inside my skull! Tickling the backs of my eyes, burrowing into my brain, why won't they leave me alone?

My eyelids, they feel so heavy…

_LEt uS BE gOInG, MaSTEr._

**The Three T's of Victory**

Darkness, nothing but darkness with the consistency of slime. Surrounding me from all sides, it consumes all. It writhes, undulates, indulging itself in its own decadent corruption. This is the unholy womb, bringing all souls it has touched back into the fold. This is the reaper's cloak, birthing every evil on this earth. Such a familiar sight, such hideous beauty, it brings both songs of praises and bile to my throat.

Piecing together that redundant, artsy-sounding drivel that was somehow spawned by the depths of my mind, along with my last waking memories, I could come to only one conclusion; it meant that I had died. Again.

Despite of this observation, I felt oddly calm. Under any other circumstance, I'd be fighting tooth and nail to survive as to keep my most important oath. My thoughts almost appeared to not be my own, with foreign ideas and impulses coming to the fore. Was it a symptom of being in this chaotic world, with my mind following suit, or just a result of being dead? A simple knife to my back, and not the ceaselessly-burning fires of perdition, had spelled my end this time. Truly, dying without accomplishing anything, it was pathetic. This was my punishment for failing Mother, wasn't it? And was this strange and unholy world, with its horribly glinting un-light, to be my prison?

As if taking advantage of my preoccupation with my own self-depreciating thoughts, I caught something _different_ moving out of the corner of my eye. But when I went to face that direction, I found nothing more than the endlessly churning darkness.

Again. Something slithering amidst the dark. Darkness amongst darkness, black amongst black, filth amongst filth, it avoided my view. I was dead, and this my purgatory, so just what was in here with me? And more importantly, what did it want with me?

This brought to mind an old warning Iri left me, something she told me as a child. Out of everything she warned me about, from the tell-tale signs of a vampire infestation to the magi's general soullessness, this was the one that bothered me the most. Well, besides the one about spandex-wearing perverts.

"_You belong to two worlds, yet you fit in none. You aren't completely human anymore, nor are you completely _other_. The union between the two is imperfect, and this gap leaves you susceptible to influence from _outside_ sources. Namely, your body is at near constant risk of possession. That medicine you take isn't just for keeping what remains of your human body from rejecting the _other_; it also acts as a deterrent for malicious beings that would take it over. Its main ingredient, mercury, _azoth_, may be a poison in this modern world, but if used correctly, can still bring balance, both in the body and the soul. As the prime ingredient, the _Prima Materia_, for the philosopher's stone, it keeps you together, whole and insulated, but the inevitable symptoms of mercury poisoning itself may leave your soul open to invasion. And even then, the protection it grants is far from perfect, as its power has waned with the advent of modern science."_

It was at this moment that I recalled her letting out a sigh, placing her hand against a scrape I had gotten from protecting a kitten from a gang of bullies. The look in her eyes was unfathomably deep, darkness and despair lurking at the edges of her soul.

"_Injuries destabilize both the body and the soul, lowering your natural defenses against foreign elements both physical and beyond. Should you ever find yourself heavily wounded, you must fight to stay conscious lest you leave your mind, and your soul, unguarded. There are always those watching, creatures both dead and those never quite alive in the first place, waiting for a chance to enter this world through whatever crack they can find. Being possessed is, in its own way, a fate worse than death. Many things that would desire your body are cruel, and there are those that would have you watch in the back of your own mind as they desecrate what is precious to you, trample over whatever goals you had in life, and ruin everything around you with your own hands, helpless to stop them. Those crueler yet would…well, it doesn't bear mentioning._

_My shortcomings are at fault for this situation, as I couldn't find any other way to save you back then, so…please, forgive your mother for her foolishness."_

These were among Iri's last words, some of what she had told me during the weeks preceding her death, so they had stuck with me. Though truly, I had not expected to hear them so clearly. It was almost as if she had actually been speaking me rather than them being mere remembrance. To be honest, a part of me wanted to stay here and listen to it more, but I was not alone here. These creatures who would suppress the good and evil of humanity, those both dead and undying, were to be given no quarter.

And out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. I truly _saw_ it, flying among the dark. It was a black, shriveled monstrosity whose origins I could not even begin to fathom. Its body was long, comprised of nothing but tattered edges and unraveling flesh, and looked like a corpse stretched out on the racks. It had no identifiable head, though I admit to not trying very hard to find one. While instead of legs it had countless writhing tentacles, each with a pair of multi-facetted talons protruding from the tip. Its arms were emaciated and deformed, leathery flaps of skin stretched between them and the malignant thing's body, with three joints along their length. And on its back, putrid and bubbling, a face emerged, looking like-

-a searing pain erupted from the base of my neck, and all went white.

**The Three T's of Victory**

-I felt something snap.

…

…Where was I?

Opening my eyes, clutching my incessantly spinning head all the while, I looked about where I found myself upon waking. It was dark, with shadows clinging to every corner, and the hard floor beneath my prone body was cold. This ruled out it being the room where I had last rested. Through the haze of my slowly waking mind, and the incessant ringing of my ears, I could make out the slightly familiar sight of the shed. Someone must have moved me here upon my falling unconscious from prana-exhaustion. Forcing my upper body vertical, using the cement wall to prop it up, I tried gathering my stray thoughts.

Master! Where was Master?

The very fact that I was moved here, rather than back into the guest room, boded ill. Why would Master (or possibly Saber) move me here, to somewhere like this, when the guest room worked fine? The only explanation was that something had happened that made that room inconvenient. Grasping a shelf that was at my shoulder level, I attempted to use it as leverage to stand. While this resulted in knocking over and shattering a set of bottles filled with silver liquid, mercury if my nose hadn't failed me, and an unidentifiable powdery substance, I was able to, albeit unsteadily, lean against the wall.

Truly, if I had known I would end up like this, I would've spent time astralized and conserving my prana while I could. My desire to experience this world first-hand has now apparently become my undoing. While my Noble Phantasm would've taken most of my prana out of me regardless, at least I would've had more to work with in the first place. Either that or maybe I should have pointed out my Master's error beforehand, and have him rectify it, rather than just use it as flimsy self-justification.

But enough what-ifs, finding Master took priority over my self-flagellation. He could punish me all I wanted after this was over, with ropes if I was lucky.

Delving into my, admittedly rather feeble, connection to him, I searched for any trace of Shirou. I wasn't out for all that long, so he couldn't be far. Plus the undeniable sounds of battle, only now piercing through my ringing ears, meant that he was probably still here. All I had to do was dig a little and…

…find there was nothing.

"Oh n-no, Master!" This was not good! After taking a moment to calm myself back down, I dove back to where the link to my Master should have been. After a more thorough search into my soul, I found that our connection still existed, if barely. For some reason, the tether keeping us connected had almost completely unraveled, practically leaving it hanging by a figurative string. And given the strange, almost slimy feeling that was exuding from the other side of the link, something had seriously gone wrong.

Gathering what strength I had, I dashed out of the shed. This was no time to let exhaustion rule me.

Following the sounds of battle, I ran for the other side of the house. It was likely that Master had gotten himself involved in the fighting somehow, and was now hurt. And it was up to me, his loyal and adorable Servant, to save him! And then, maybe, he would-

"_-Assassin!"_

What was that deformed bitch doing here?

Wait, was that…at her feet…_Master!_ Master's body was just…just lying there, with a knife stuck through his ribs. Blood had pooled around his stilled body and…and…h-he wasn't breathing! I could feel his life still hanging on by a thread, but…but-!

"_-!_" Answering to my voiceless cry, my sword appeared in my hand. Sprinting forward, I launched a horizontal slash at the Master-slaying Servant. Dodging my blow in a manner not unlike flowing water, Assassin jumped back away from my Master's prone body.

Kill. I had to kill this thing that hurt my Master!

"Iyaaaaaaah!" Another voice entered into the conflict. Glancing to the side, I saw that the annoyance, Master's supposed 'sister', had finally taken note of her brother's condition. What the hell had she been doing up until now? Was she just watching her Servant fight Archer like a spectator at the Roman Colosseum? This was not sport, but War!

"_Ki. Kikiki. Kikikikikikikikikikkikiki!"_ Shut up! Just stop it, stop laughing! I was running out of prana fast, but this thing had to die! I aimed another slash at its head, but it again dodged as if it were made of liquid. To my ever-increasing chagrin, this repeated itself over and over again. My every strike was dodged with the fluidity of a boneless worm. Again, again, again, I couldn't even land a lucky hit! Why wouldn't this thing just stay still and allow itself to be killed? The longer this took, the longer I was kept from treating Master!

My assault on Assassin was interrupted by an earth-shattering roar that sounded to my right. Looking at its source, I saw that Saber had noticed the situation that we had found ourselves in, and had upped the ferocity of his attacks on Archer, who, strangely enough, seemed to stagger a bit in apparent shock upon seeing the body of my Master.

I would have possibly pondered on this more had Assassin not bolted towards the wall dividing the yard proper from the street. Fast on its heels, I gave chase. Unfortunately, for all my speed, the Assassin was faster yet. Scaling the wall like a spider, the enemy Servant vanished to the other side with a parting cackle. Tensing my muscles, I made to clear the wall with a leap.

_Thrum._

Or, at least I would have, had not a sudden jerking sensation caused my face to impact the dirt as if someone had pulled the ground out from under my feet. Sheer exhaustion practically pinned my body to the ground, rendering me immobile. Simultaneously hoping for the creature's return for me to kill it, and for it to not come back and take advantage of my sudden defenseless state, I bit back tears that threatened to gather in my eyes. I couldn't even get up to help my Master, whose life was quickly-

_Thrum._

The world lurched. That strange sensation of having my feet taken out from under me was not an illusion brought upon by prana exhaustion, but an actual phenomenon. Reality itself felt like it screeched to a stop for a moment, both infinitesimally short and unbearably long, before starting up again. It was as if the rotation of the Earth itself had been interrupted, and by something absolutely massive, for there was a strange, almost cloying, presence now hanging over the area. The air itself became clotted with the otherworldly existence; a texture not unlike rough sackcloth smothered my nose and mouth, to the point where breathing became difficult.

_Thrum._

The sounds of clashing swords had died down; the lurching world must have interfered with the fight. Looking over towards the two other Servants I saw that Saber had fallen to his knee while Archer, somehow still standing, was looking rather pale for such a tan man. Following his eyes, I saw that…_Master!_ There was something wrong, something terribly and horribly wrong, with Master!

Black fog was spilling out of the wound on his chest, spreading into the dusky air like a fell wind. The shadows cast by the setting sun seemed to stretch around Shirou's prone body in impossible shapes and angles, writhing in strange and beautiful dances. His mouth, which I feared may never move again, was soundlessly miming strange and unearthly words in a speed I would've thought impossible for a modern human.

_Thrum._

And then he was standing. There was no moment in-between, no movement of getting up. He just…was. Ilya, still standing to the side in shock, gave of a shriek of surprise at this sudden change. His arms, hanging boneless at his sides, twitched and undulated, fingers tracing strange and unidentifiable signs in the air. The strange soundless syllables coming from his mouth seemed to paradoxically echo in my ears, whispering unheard curses into my brain.

_Thrum._

"M-Master, are you…_there?_" That was the important question, and yet, against all hope, I knew it was not going to be answered. As soon as he rose from the ground, I had started receiving prana from our link once more, so he was definitely alive. But was that all he was? Something was not right here, what I was receiving from him was decidedly _wrong_ in all aspects. Master had never been sending me very much prana through our link, likely from his botched summoning, but now I was receiving it in a metaphorical waterfall. And the feel of the stuff…it was as if it were sending ragged tendrils of darkness that continuously burrowed through my very being, trying to make me submit.

But I would not allow it.

I had lived a long life, and had experienced many things both wonderful and unspeakable, and I could recognize the signs of possession when I saw them. But these strange acts were not that of a human spirit, not even one so debase as the Assassin possessing its poor Master, I was sure of it. In the end, all I knew was that this thing was far too dangerous to be a mere daemon. The world itself seemed to falter under the weight of this being as the world jerked to a halt once more with a dreadful growing tension, and then, with a feeling that something had fallen incomplete, snapped back to the way everything was before. The oppressive feeling had completely left, the choking hold on our throats dissipated, the only traces of it ever happening being the unholy winds that blew lazily through the yard. "Oh, Master…"

…And the thing that was possessing Shirou.

Slowly, all too slowly, the _thing_ that is_was_ Master turned to me. On his_its_ face was a horrible facsimile of a smile, as if the creature was not sure how to move the muscles to get the right result. His_its_ eyes reflected no light, only horrible alien knowledge. He_it_ knew everything about anything it looked upon, and hated all of it. At the hopelessness that must have seeped into my expression he_it_ only grinned wider, Master's cheeks tearing open with a horrible wet sound as the smile literally reached his_its_ ears. With black sludge seeping out of his_its_ wounds instead of blood, it laughed.

"_Tekeli-li."_

We were screwed.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Of course this had to happen. Someone had taken advantage of the confusion caused by her Archer's assault to launch an attack on the Master of Rider. Did that Assassin have no sense of propriety? It attacked them earlier in the day too, in the middle of the city in broad daylight no less. Boundary field or no, that was far too risky. And then it stole her prey, just like that. There was no honor or beauty to be found here.

And, as if that weren't enough, Rider's injured Master went and got possessed by a demon. Why the bloody thing was close enough to the surface to take advantage of that boy's body, she felt that she'd rather not find out. All she knew is that she had the strangest feeling that she and Archer had to get out of here, despite destroying the demon being a high priority in order to keep the Moonlit World a secret. She was confident her Servant could kill it, and with the herculean Saber likely to either stay out of the way or actively help, as was its Master's duty, it should've been easy. But a part of her, the small and withered part of her childhood that feared the dark and the monster under her bed, warned that it would not be that easy. That it was dangerous to even stay in that _thing's_ presence.

And she would have said as much to her Servant, had not a sudden and strange change overcome Archer. From her vantage point on top of the Japanese-style mansion where Rider's Master resided, she could see the Spirit's eyes glaze over, becoming hard as granite, as his stance seemed to take on a more rigid form. And then, without any other warning, a long black bow formed in his hands with naught but a flash of light. Nocking a strange spiral-shaped arrow, formed in his other hand, the Servant took aim at the demon-possessed Master.

Oh boy…

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Well then, it appears that the initiative has been taken from me. I'd better hurry and get things set up, or I'll get left behind." Standing alone in a dark forest, staring into a still lake at what was reflected there, was a tall man clad in robes of centuries passed. "While it does beg the question, why him and why now, casting hasn't even begun, I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. It's a shame though; poor Issei had the leading role stolen right out from under him." Putting his hand under his chin, the man scratched it in thought. "Well, there are two others, disregarding the supporting cast, and he looks effeminate enough to stick in a dress, so I suppose he doesn't have to feel too left out."

With a motion of his hand, the flamboyant man called over another, utterly nondescript, man from the shadows of the trees. This man, unlike the first, was completely forgettable to the point of it being absurd. In fact, to the flamboyant man, even his name was easily forgotten. His only striking features were his hair, greased in a slicked-back fashion, and the expensive-looking spectacles he wore on his utterly too average face. Of course, this only highlighted the strange glassiness of his eyes, for the lights were on but obviously no one was home. Responding to the taller man's whimsical gesture, the absent one placed a faded and tattered pale-yellow book, adorned simply with the image of a golden salamander on the front cover, in his outstretched hand.

"It's also quite fortunate that the boy's Servant, the Rider, looks so much like a woman. He can fill whichever role Issei leaves behind, should he decide to follow his Master. It all depends on the singing voice, I suppose." Turning his head towards the nondescript man with a sardonic grin, the flamboyant man waved his empty hand dismissively. "On the other hand, it's unfortunate that old traditions have fallen out of favour, as even women find themselves on stage these days. Now I'm not dismissing a woman's ability to act, or even place in society, mind you. It's just that it takes half the fun out of the whole process, does it not? If an actor cannot function when wearing ten pounds of makeup and unfamiliar dress, he can't really be called an actor, now can he?"

The nondescript man did not respond, merely standing silently at the flamboyant man's side. With an overly-dramatic sigh, the flamboyant man placed his index finger against his forehead and spoke as if suffering some great tragedy. "Ah, it is such a shame you lack an artistic mind, Master. Then we wouldn't have been forced into this arrangement, as you are even more boring now then you were before. But even so, I have to be thankful for your surprisingly extensive connections. It wouldn't have been possible for me to get my hands on _this_ without them."

Turning back to the still lake, book in hand, the flamboyant man laughed.

"Well, the cogs of fate have truly begun to move this night. So, let me say this once again: _Let the yonder curtain rise! The audience will tremble with delight and anticipation! Oooh, isn't it wonderful? Isn't it grand? All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players!_

_Let the first act commence!"_

_[Break]_

Let me say this, what is 'possessing' Shirou is _not_ a Shoggoth. More things than them say that phrase. But can you guess which Lovecraftian horror _is_ possessing Shirou? I think I left enough clues around, especially in this chapter, and there's a bit of a pun in there concerning that...kinda-sorta, if one has watched a certain anime. I will say that this specific deity and Gilgamesh cannot, under any circumstance, hope to coexist. While he probably wouldn't care much about say...Ithaqua coming to town and turning everyone into Wendigos, or even if the Crawling Chaos itself decided to poke his tentacles into the War's business (and he certainly didn't care much for the Cthuloid being Gilles summoned), this one is...for lack of a better word, an anathema to him.

And the mantle of protagonist has passed to Rider for an indefinite amount of time (and Shirou has found a very different leading role thrust upon him). This has been something I've been planning on for quite some time (since chapter two). Think it will work out? Hopefully these moves won't divide up my fanbase (I have a fanbase?) like Hymn believes it might. Though let me say in my defense, that the Lovecraft will not be completely taking over the rest of the story. They are part of Caster's 'story arc', if you will. (Though I'm not really dividing up the enemy Servants into their own arc.)


	10. Chapter 10

Well, Merry Christmas everyone. And in the spirit of the holiday, here is the next chapter. Truth be told, I've had this done for over a week, but I decided to post it now 'cause it works out better this way. Continuing where I left off, horror (and still some humor) abounds.

Ah, let me say this first. Shakespeare's Master is not Kuzuki, but the magus who summoned Medea in canon. Just wanted to clarify that, since someone asked.

**The Three T's of Victory**

"_Tekeli-li."_

We were screwed.

It knew that, reveled in it, and grinned. That insidious grin, the sheer inhumanity of it pierced my very soul. The human body could not hope to keep up with the aberrant will driving such a thing, and it literally tore itself apart when it tried. Why had this happened? Was this my fault, for not being at his side when he was in danger? It hadn't even been twenty-four hours since I was summoned, and already this has happened. The one who reminded me so much of Roland, would I fail him too? Oh, Master, how could I free you from this?

My hard-won instincts flared up, alerting me to imminent danger. Searching for where the feeling came from, I saw that the red Archer had taken aim at my possessed Master with a fiercely glowing arrow nocked in a black bow. That weapon, I could tell it was Broken and thus, devastating. Even possessed, it was unlikely that Master could survive something like that. To my shame and disgust, I actually hesitated for a moment on whether I should intervene and save my Master. Although the situation hadn't yet become hopeless, and attempts to save him haven't been made, death may have been preferable to life as a monster's puppet.

I paid for this hesitation when Archer released the arrow, sending it streaking towards my Master. I knew I couldn't make it in time, though I certainly tried, and had to watch helplessly as it-

"_N'gah shuggoth, n'gah."_

-was absorbed by a tattered yellow cloth that slithered out from Master's shadow. Spouting off nonsensical words whose throaty sounds grated on my mind, the horrid creature laughed as his very presence began to pervert the world around him. With a motion of its hand, another tattered cloth, billowing like fabric yet somehow twisted into a form resembling a cavalry lance, emerged from the warp in reality and stretched towards Archer at a strange angle. Blocking the spear with twin swords that appeared out of thin air, the resulting metallic clang vibrating through my very bones, the other Servant cut the offending weapon to pieces. Pulling the remains of the weapon back by its woven tether, frayed edges spiraling into countless more pikes, the thing in Master spouted off more guttural noises as his form seemed to waver in unseen mists.

"_Yah naflfthagn!"_

This sequence of events repeated over and over again, with little variation, neither side gaining ground over the other. If Archer slashed with a sword, it would be deflected by a cloth emerging from Master's sleeves. If it was a thrust, rags emerging from the distortions in reality would divert the weapon. If the attack were a ranged one, the projectile would be consumed by the tatters emerging from his shadow.

If the_ thing_ attacked with one of the twisted spears, it would be shattered by twin swords. If it were a sweep with a coiled rope, silver knives would pin it to the ground. Attempts at entrapment would be met by blades emerging from the Servant's body, shredding the binding cloth to pieces. The whole thing reminded me of nothing more than the dance of the matador and bull. It was entrancing in its subtle unnaturalness, but I knew it could not be let to continue any longer. Despite the daemon's power, Master was slowly but surely losing ground. It wouldn't be long before a debilitating blow was struck.

Slapping my cheeks, I steeled myself for what I was about to do. I needed to stop waffling, to stop hesitating in front of the possible consequences. Thinking overmuch had never gotten me anywhere before. All I had to do was my duty, to protect my Master, everything else came second. So what if he was possessed by an unearthly horror? Master was Master.

_Let's go._

Taking the distraction Archer unwittingly provided, gripping my blade with all my strength, I sprinted the short distance between me and my Master and smashed the pommel of my sword into the back of his head, knocking him flat on the ground. Possessed or not, my Master was still human at this point, and thus susceptible to all of their fallacies.

Like a concussion, for example.

Quickly hefting his unconscious body over my shoulder, ducking under a strike from the Archer, I turned on my heel and immediately retreated. I ignored the sudden sounds of protest from Master's sister and leapt over the dividing wall. Ilya would be fine, she had her Saber. And if not…Master's safety came before anyone else's anyway. It was just unfortunate, I honestly liked that house, but it wasn't safe anymore. The enemy, both Assassin and Archer, knew where it was. And while I knew that Master had things left in his workshop that his life depended on, his life also depended on me getting him away from that place.

I could always come back for the stuff anyway, if it became absolutely necessary.

I dashed through the streets lit only by the evening sun, my greaves hitting the concrete with a clacking staccato, carrying my Master further and further away from the conflict. I could wait until we had reached a safe place before I addressed his strange case of possession. I didn't know how long it would take Master to recover from my strike, so I had to hurry.

"_**Hippogriff!"**_

**The Three T's of Victory**

I was dreaming. I must've been, for what other reason would I find myself sitting in the coachman's seat of an old horse-driven hearse? The ancient city I was driving through was silent and dead, the only sounds I heard being the rhythmic clopping of the two horses' hooves as they pulled the carriage along the cobblestone road. The full roadside stalls and resulting detritus along the street showed that people had recently flowed through here like water, but there was no other trace of any living thing around. Not even rats, omnipresent in any human city, to eat up the scraps people left behind. Yet it wasn't empty, for I felt eyes upon me as I passed, staring out of the windows set in the old, squat European-style houses along my route. Just as I felt the eyes were also on the glass coffin in the back, its inhabitant as alive as I was. I knew not who he was, just that I had to take him to his destination. I knew not what his destination was, just that I would reach it at the end of this road.

The last I remember was cloying darkness, then endless white. Anything more slipped out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried to recall, much like sand through a child's fingers. This, however, could wait. I felt compelled to complete my mission, to deliver one of The Chosen to Him, wherever He may be.

As I traveled down the old road, the buildings started to become…_strange_. Of course, this was not all that surprising as this was a dream, and dreams rarely make complete sense, but it still sent a shiver down my spine. The houses, formerly stout-looking homes built out of quarry stone, were slowly replaced by twisted, almost metallic, towers that pierced the darkening sky where twin suns hung overhead. Unearthly texts wrapped their way around the almost-pentagonal spires, characters reminiscent of the nonsensical scribbles written by insane Magi in the ancient Middle-East, shifting along the obsidian walls whenever I set to read them. As I stared at these monoliths of nameless proportions, and listened to the ever-louder sounds of waves lapping against the shores of some unknown lake, an unfamiliar name came unbidden to my mind, for this was where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthened in the afternoon. What this meant, or if indeed it even meant anything, I had no clue, nor had I a desire to find out.

I could see the tallest spire approaching up ahead, bent at an angle where it should have, by all rights, fallen, and I knew then that it was to be my destination. Even twisted as it was, the top of the tower was the highest point in the city, the suns setting before its majesty. This was the castle that reigned over the city, the pillar that kept it together.

It was known to me that the being which resided in that tower, if truly called upon the Earth in all of His glory, would bring an end to all those near. Whether this was related to the so-called 'Unchangeable End' that was the undoing of so many alchemists before me, I knew not. Yet, for some reason, this knowledge did not bother me, even though a voice in the back of my mind said that it should. I should be serving another, it said, but the sight of the Sign inscribed on the tower's face easily drowned out its dissenting noises. I knew what must be done, though not why.

After summer is winter, and after winter summer. What once was, that is not, will be again.

This was the Him that I was delivering the man in the coffin to, He who was lord and prisoner of this city. He is who must not be named, lest you unwittingly garner His attention. For even though He is trapped, chained to His throne, His power knows no such bounds. Letting out a sigh, I watched as my breath formed bubbles in the air that lazily floated through the fog towards the sky above. Weird. Well, this was a dream after all, and dreams didn't have to make complete sense.

Like how I knew I was approaching the center tower, the old black-plumed hearse rattling along the pitch stone road, yet I seemed to not be getting any closer. To be honest, this was somewhat frustrating. Something was keeping me from doing my job. Had the one that seeks my passenger, not quite as helpless as I thought they were, caught up to me? Or had that so-called Purple Emperor seen it fit to interfere? _Such things were not welcome in this city, for they had no place here. The whispers of the Phantom of Truth which stalk these misty streets shall find them, and they will all be justly dealt with._

I wanted to wake up. This...this was not me! This knowledge, this mission, it wasn't mine! A sudden migraine spiked through my brain as I crouched forwards to clutch at my head, dropping the reins I had clutched in my hands. The twin horses leading the carriage bulked and whinnied, tipping the hearse over on its side with a crash and the sound of glass breaking. As I was thrown from the seat to the ground, I knew the coffin had been broken and the inhabitant freed. Part of me said this was a bad thing, a very bad thing, but if that was the part of me that wasn't me…then I didn't know what to think.

Dammit! This was no time for en existential crisis. This was just a dream, an illusion! Nothing here was real! All I had to do was wake up, and-!

_You are me, and I you._ I…I was He, and He me._ We are now as one, for you wear your face as the Pallid Mask._ My face a mask, pale as the light of the twin moons._ There is no waking from this dream, no escape from the streets of Carcosa._

**The Three T's of Victory**

Despite the urgency of this situation, flying through the sky was as exhilarating as ever. I surprised, but thankful, that Archer didn't pursue or try to shoot us down. And although it took me longer than I had hoped to locate a safe place to hide, in the end I found a nice cave deep in the mountains. While it was quite deep, deeper than I would've thought the norm for the topography of the area, there was a strange feeling in the deeper areas so I stayed close to the surface. And although the olid scent of primitive moulds and stagnant water assaulted one's nose, the area seemed to sooth my Master, as his unconscious struggles lessened once I carried him into the cave. That was why, despite how foreboding the place felt, I decided that it would make a good place to hide out.

Laying the body of my Master against the cave wall, I saw that the demonic transformation had already begun. His face had gained an unearthly pallor starting from where his mouth had torn open, a sickly yellow tinge spreading through his skin, while his clothes were starting to unravel at the edges and pale. That it was happening this soon after the initial contact was definitely not a good sign, it practically confirmed my feeling that the monster possessing Master was a creature of unnatural disposition and power. The strange aura of corruption that seemed to hang over Master's body, fell black winds stirring the otherwise stale air, certainly supported my assumption.

This _thing_ was no mere 'imaginary being', that was for sure.

To be honest, I had no idea what I should do at this point. With the creature already changing his body, the methods I had thought of to save Master, pretty much just calling on the power of the divine through a few varied ritual chants I had learned, were already useless. I could've attempted a full Christian exorcism, though I had my doubts on whether that would work or not. Besides, I didn't have any of the materials needed save for my silver crucifix. And even if I _did_ have the materials, ignoring my inability to procure them on such short notice, I wasn't sure I could recite one from memory. The Grail sure didn't provide me with the needed information. I'd considered taking him to that church we went to yesterday for such a thing, but the priest there was a neutral observer and wouldn't help us. Even if I surrendered, he had no obligation to help my Master beyond offering 'sanctuary'. And that was only if he just didn't try to kill Master on sight to get rid of a threat to the city, as was the Church's duty.

But maybe, just maybe, using my Super Anti-Magic Book of Doom™ (its actual name eluded me for the moment, deal with it) on him would do something. It had worked wonders with that Rin girl, after all. Calling the Noble Phantasm to my hand with a mental command, I struck Master upside the head with it.

_Thwack._

Letting out a groan, my still unconscious Master slumped to the cave floor, unchanged save for a purpling bruise on his otherwise ashen face. Well, it was worth a shot.

Maybe…once more for good measure, just to be sure.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Honestly, it was kind of disconcerting, Luvia thought, to have to stop her Archer from giving chase to the retreating Rider (and possibly killing everyone along the way) with a command seal. He nearly lopped off her own head when she had stood in-between him and the vague direction where his target had headed. The Servant even had the gall to refuse giving an explanation on whatever came over him, brushing her off with barely a word. If she hadn't just used one of her three command seals to subdue him, Luvia likely would've forced him to spill everything right there.

Saber's Master, an Einzbern homunculus of all things, thankfully didn't send her Servant pursue Luvia upon her retreat. Admittedly they both were shaken by the unfortunate fate that had befallen Rider's Master, and that said 'fate' had the power to hold off a Servant didn't help, so any desire for combat either had quickly soured. Unbeknownst to the young homunculus however, Luvia had left a pair of familiars behind, disguised as nesting birds, to keep watch over the manse. If that demon-possessed boy or his Servant returned to the house, she'd know about it.

And, Luvia swore, she'd be there to take care of it. But first, there was much planning to be done. Demons never went down easy, after all.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Time passed into the night, and my Master's condition remained dire. Trying to take his bloody clothing off turned out to be futile, as the cloth had somehow fused itself to his flesh. I was surprised he hadn't woken up by now, what with an otherworldly horror eating away at his soul and all. Though he did seem to have a moment of near-lucidity, muttering unintelligible things about a city full of obsidian monoliths and domes in his sleep, showing that, while the influence was still strong, the daemon's full control over him back at the house had likely passed for now. How long this respite would last, however, was not looking good. With the rate that his body was degenerating, the possession would likely be complete by morning.

At this point, there was nowhere we could go. Going to the church wasn't an option, and taking him back to the house was right out; that Archer or his master likely had the place staked out. It seemed that it was the end for us here. The daemon would likely eat me when the possession was complete, as I was literally made of energy. But I couldn't just leave Master alone, nor could I bring myself to kill him. As I couldn't save him when he needed me the most, the least I could do to make it up to him at this point was to be food for the demon he would become.

Looking back over at Master, I saw that the flesh of his hands had partially unraveled, exposing the bones beneath, and become one with the scalloped tatters of his sleeves. His clothes had reached what I surmised to be the halfway point in their transformation into surprisingly baroque, yet equally ragged, robes that wouldn't look unfit on the time-worn corpse of a king. Well, if the king's body was also made up of the robes, yellows and purples blending seamlessly with the skin in layered rags. A large part of me tried not to notice the unhealthy paleness that his face had taken on and the movement of strange objects beneath the achromatic skin, stitching up the wounds in his cheeks with slithering feelers, and failed.

Throwing back my head with a sigh, I stared at the stalactites hanging from the ceiling. There was nothing to do but wait, spend my last moments with Master, I suppose.

All of a sudden, I heard the rustling of leaves outside the mouth of the cave. This night was a windless one, so the sound was unnatural in the otherwise still forest. Probably sensing the emanations coming from deep within this cave, even animals steered clear of the area. This meant it was most likely an enemy approaching, come to take advantage of our situation. Drawing my sword and pulling myself into a crouch, I prepared to face the intruder. Out of the gloom stalked the figure of whom I least wanted to see, the one who had put Master in this situation in the first place.

"_Assassin!"_

Did it come to finish Master and me off when we were at our lowest? If we were to die, it would not be at the hand of a thing like this! As if hearing my internal question, the twisted Servant began to laugh. The grating sound echoed off the walls, causing my Master behind me to moan in his sleep. After a minute of this, the killer reached into his cloak, I tensing in preparation for the inevitable appearance of its knives, and pulled out-

"_Eh!"_

-an assortment of bottles filled with a myriad of different liquids, a large glass beaker, a rather beaten Bunsen burner, what I guessed to be a portable battery, all kinds of silver utensils, a rock engraved with strange symbols, and a bunch more objects that I hadn't thought it would be able to fit underneath that cloak. These…these were from Master's workshop! All of this, this was what he used to make that medicine of his! How did-?

"Ki. Kikiki." Laughing at my befuddled and skeptical expression, Assassin used put its good hand up in a gesture of surrender. Horridly distorted and raspy, its voice failed to sound placating. And even that half-hearted attempt was offset by the toothy grin that peeked out through the sides of the Servant's skull-like mask. "WorRY not, my Master sleeps. I have a propoSItion for you."

**The Three T's of Victory**

"Ehehe, yer absolutely right Miyuki, a man like… like… like that is no good!" In the gloom of the night, broken only by the light of the streetlamps, three women made their way across the roads of Fuyuki. They had just come back from a company mixer, and Miyuki, the one at the head of the group, felt that she had been drinking too much. But, on the other hand, there were no good men among the mix, so there was nothing to do_ but_ drink. Thankfully her two coworkers lived in the same apartment complex she did, so they could all stagger home together. There was safety in numbers after all.

"I mean, come one. Did'ja see the way that idiot Kouji kept on starin' at Reiko's tits? It was so obvo… obuvu… obli… _yes_, yet she didn't even notice it!" Misaki, the woman to her left, said with a laugh. With her tie all crooked and shirt unbuttoned, Miyuki thought she looked the very image of a drunken, young office woman. To Miyuki's chagrin, the loud drunk continued began to poke at her side, before her attention was (thankfully) drawn to the third, and least inebriated, member of their group. "Do-don't gimme that look Mikoto, he was starin' at your giant knockers too. Then again, ahahahahahaha_hic_, I can hardly blame 'im! Why, I aughta teach… teach… huh? Hey, you guys, whozzat over there?"

Looking in the direction indicated by Misaki's shaking finger, Miyuki was taken aback by what had shocked her drunken friend. Standing underneath the light of a streetlamp a few meters ahead was something that wouldn't have been out of place in one of her shoujo manga (that she most definitely did not have hidden in her briefcase). A tall woman garbed in a fancy Victorian-era ball gown, most of her features hidden behind a peacock-feathered masque, regarded the three with an empty smile.

"L-looks like someone got lost on their way to the geek convo… conbu… _meeting_." Bending over in laughter at her own 'joke', Misaki missed the warning looks her two coworkers sent her. After rubbing her head in embarrassment, Miyuki strode forward with the intent to apologize for her friend's behavior, only to be interrupted by more peals of drunken laughter as said friend staggered towards the strange woman. "Where'dya get a dress like that anyway? Did Snow White sell it to ya?"

"Hey, Misa, there's no need to be rude," Mikoto said with agitation visible in her face, beating Miyuki to the punch. Walking towards her wayward friend, she interspersed herself between the drunk and the strangely-dressed woman, who had not moved since this altercation began. "We don't have time for-"

Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by a trio of slimy tendrils, erupting from below the bell of the strange woman's dress, wrapping around her face with enough force to make her jaw crack. Miyuki could only give out a piercing shriek in place of her friend, who was quickly being wrapped up by more and more of the whip-like appendages.

"Wo-wo-wo-whoa, w-what the fuck is goin' on here?" Misaki so eloquently put. She reached forward as if to try and free her bound friend, hand shaking both out of fear and intoxication, but was stopped by another greasy tentacle from beneath the woman's skirts wrapping around her wrist. Tugging frantically, the drunken girl tried to free herself from the horrid thing's grasp, but could not escape as more tendrils wrapped around the limb. With an wet-sounding crack Misaki's elbow was snapped almost completely in two, upper and lower arm kept together only by frayed tendons, her humerus exposed through the torn flesh. The woman would have continued screaming, if not for the tentacles that had made their way down her throat preventing her from even crying for help.

"Ah... ah…" Frozen in terror, Miyuki found that she could do nothing, a warm trickle down her leg indicating that her bladder had failed. Seeing this, the woman, no, the _monster_ laughed. To Miyuki's ears, the sound was completely unsuitable for such a creature, a light and dainty laugh that could easily be heard anywhere. This couldn't be real! She just drank too much and passed out, that was it. That had to be it! She would wake up, having been dragged home by her two friends and coworkers, and they would share a laugh at the absurd nightmare. So consumed was she in her own delusions, she could only stand by helplessly as her friends were dragged thrashing underneath the strange woman's dress. A fate she herself soon shared.

And it wasn't long before the night was taken by horrible slurping noises.

Smiling to herself, the elegantly-dressed woman began to dance with an unseen partner to an unheard band, quietly singing the words to the unknown performance. She vanished into the night, the haunting melody a dirge mourning the end of all things.

"_Songs that the Hyades shall sing,_

_Where flap the tatters of the King,_

_Must die unheard in_

_Dim Carcosa."_

_[Break]_

Aaaand done. Shirou is now showing the detrimental side-effects of possession. If his body wasn't already all kinds of strange, he would've died from those changes. Well, for those of you with some Lovecraft knowledge (or knowledge about cosmic horrors that predate his own) it should be obvious who is possessing Shirou right now. And, for those of you who aren't aware, I'll just go and save you a trip to google. It's the King in Yellow, The Unspeakable One, He Who Is Not to be Named, the Magnum Innominandum, or, as you probably know him, Hastur the Unspeakable. Well, to be exact, what's possessing Shirou is only an aspect of the greater being, Hastur's herald and avatar The King in Yellow. (And the tentacled bat-thing that assaulted Shirou earlier is another avatar, the Feaster from Afar.) If the whole thing took up residence in Shirou's body, he'd likely explode or something. And, from that, you can probably ascertain parts of Shakespeare's goals, and some of the reasons why the plot turned as it has. (The book with he held in that last scene with him was a copy of The King in Yellow play.) Most of the stuff here is based on Chambers' pre-Lovecraft book (which I have read) rather than later aspects added by later authors (which I have not read much of).

Also, I had intended to put gibberish where the R'ylehian is, but FFN does not allow consecutive symbols. Not fun.


	11. Chapter 11

As will probably surprise some people, I'm not dead yet. Maybe. Fallen under some kind of apathy spell lately, so I couldn't manage to drum enough motivation to put this up even though it's been done for a while. I was going to discuss something about this chapter's contents here or in the footer, but I can't remember what it was... Well, if it was of any importance, I'd not have forgotten it in the first place.

Ah, when assassin's words 'spike', so to speak, he's speaking with his regular voice stacked atop Bazett's. Otherwise, it's just a very raspy Bazett.

...maybe that was it?

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Chapter 11  
><em>

"If I may be perfectly honest, Mr. Pierce, I do not believe this place is the best choice for holding any kind of play. Especially one that you say will attract the whole world's attention, absurd as that claim may be." Looking around a desolate field, half-dead trees casting long shadows in the early morning light, a young man addressed his companion. The former site of the Fuyuki Municipal Hall, the park erected as a memorial for the great fire, was as bleak as ever. "Despite being a park, this place hardly counts scenic. And I don't think that any actors you try to recruit will be all that enthusiastic about performing here."

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so. No, my dear Issei, this is definitely the perfect place." Taking out tome bound in pale-yellow snakeskin, the man, clad in flamboyant clothing centuries out of date, began to flip through its worn pages. "Initially, I had thought your temple would make a good place to set up shop, so to speak. Unfortunately for me, it seems something else has taken first dibs. And interfering with that one, considering my current situation, is nothing but a death flag."

The young man merely tilted his head, obviously not understanding what his quasi-mentor was talking about.

"But that is neither here nor there, this place suits my needs better anyway. The time for banal chatter has passed. The stage needs to be set up, and we have much work to do."

…

"Don't we need a permit for that kind of thing?"

"Ah, right you are Issei." Clapping his open hand and fist together emitting a 'pon' sound, the tall man nodded towards his companion. "Alright, _first_ we get a permit, and_ then_ we have much work to do! …where again does one get a permit around these parts?"

"Probably Fuyiki City Hall-"_"Onwards to City Hall!"_"-and I have no idea where it is."

"Onwards to the internet!"

Needless to say, they had a long road ahead of them.

**The Three T's of Victory**

"What do you mean, proposition? Give me a good reason why I shouldn't just cut you down right where you stand? You tried to kill my Master before, what could you possibly want with us now?" And how did it get all that stuff from Master's workshop in the first place? This most certainly meant that our security had been compromised. In addition to this, this revealed that Assassin had to have been spying on us for some time before our initial confrontation. Otherwise how would it know that Master had those tools and ingredients and where to get them? The Servant had obviously been able to avoid detection by Saber and myself and was now gloating, it was infuriating. "Are you trying to show off? That you could have killed us at any time, is that it? Speak!"

"Ki. Kikikikiki. Such a thing would hardly be profEssIOnal, and I am nothINg if not a prOFessionAL." Its tone patronizing, as if insinuating something, the Servant reached up and adjusted the mask on its face, the seemingly ever-present toothy grin revealed for a moment. Its sickening presence and abhorrent double-voice grated on my nerves, and I had to keep my fists clenched at my side so I didn't reach up and strangle the perverse Spirit. "But that is neItHEr here nor there; I come to offer you a deal. I am pasSINgly familiar with alchemy. I know of the draught your MASter is taking, and that he likely cannot live withOUt it. So I bring these as a peace offERIng, of sorts, to show my…_sincerity_."

"You can take your 'sincerity' and shove it up your ass!"

"Tut-tut, I haven't gOTten to the important part yet," Assassin said with a raspy chuckle coming from behind its hand as it motioned with its bound stump of an arm towards my prone Master, "I have knOWledGE of what it is that possesses the boy, and hOW to…_deal_ with it."

The Servant had barely finished the sentence before it found my sword at its throat.

"Tell me what I want to know or you lose your head." A single drop of blood went trickling down the blade, Assassin's skin pierced by the gleaming edge. "_Tell me!_"

"Now nOw, if you kill us, my knOwLEdge of that thing dies with us." Wagging its finger in a chiding manner, Assassin nudged the tip of my sword away from its neck. It then once again laughed that horrible, sickly laugh that nauseated me as much as the too-sweet smell of foetid water and mildew that permeated this place. "Besides, you haVEn't even heard whAT _I_ want yet."

"…All right, speak quickly," before I gave into temptation and cut you to ribbons.

"I dESire two things." Lifting its good hand up to its face, Assassin held out two fingers. "One is relatively simple. After I _fix_ him, I want your MastER to brew me some of his drAUght. As you can probably see, my cOnDItion in sharing this body with my Master is far from perfect. It is likely that, at thIS rate, we will both perish before the week is through. Balance is nEEDed, however much I may lOAth it, and the draught can grant us thAT. I require this be made at my reqUESt at any time during our peaceful interactions."

So_ that_ was the real reason Assassin brought Master's stuff along. So much for 'sincerity'. "…And the second?"

"_I want you to kILL the Servant Lancer._"

**The Three T's of Victory**

_Cold. The night was cold. Her skin-_

_ -my skin-_

_-it burned. But the night was my realm. Even with a solid body I was invisible; there was none who would stand in my way._

_Yet the night, the city, were now being claimed by another. This would not do. The tattered cloak of dreams slowly encroaching on the area must be stopped-_

_ -Banish the false god! _

_This would not do. It was an obstacle. This would not do. But killing that boy would only inconvenience that thing, for it would simply find a new thurifer. This would not do. He must be sealed. Had Rider refused our little deal I would have made an attempt-_

_ -bury it in a hole-_

_-by force. Thankfully that Rider had no grasp on the situation. For as long as I held the Master's fate in my hand I had a thrall, however unreliable, in his Servant. And maybe if I was lucky, he and Lancer-_

_-lost lost lost lost her lost-_

_-would end up eliminating the other. Taking out Rider's Master was no longer a viable strategy, and I had little confidence on surviving a prolonged battle with a regular Servant. Especially considering how the last one ended up…even if that encounter weakened Master enough for me to exert more influence in out 'relationship'. Either way, I had a lot of work to do and the night was not getting any younger._

…_ah, perfect…_

**The Three T's of Victory**

Waiting was hell.

I never had much patience to begin with, but recent events certainly tried what little I actually possessed. In fact, I couldn't know if Assassin had just decided to go reveal our location to one of our enemies instead of leaving to fetch 'a certain item' like it said. Why it didn't bring said 'item' with it in the first place was beyond me, and the Servant had been quite evasive about it. That thing had no honor; it couldn't be trusted. It wasn't even a real Heroic Spirit. But, unfortunately, I had no other choice at the moment. Master's safety took priority above even my own misgivings.

However, the Servant's request – or, to be more exact, the stipulations on it – definitely made me curious. While I understood wanting to eliminate an enemy Servant, and the Servant Assassin's general inability to take standard Servants in battle, why him specifically? I mean, sure, it was obvious that Lancer was an overcompensating pervert, but I couldn't see why he had to be singled out. Though having to keep it secret from Assassin's Master (by method of not speaking of it around the Servant ever again) certainly made me suspicious. But it was not like I had much choice in the matter at this point, so I couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth…no matter how much I may have wanted to.

I supposed that I should have just been thankful that I was not sent against Saber in this situation.

A slight rustling of leaves outside indicated that Assassin had returned, followed by the sound of something substantial being dragged behind the Servant. Upon its entering the cave, I saw that Assassin had brought an unconscious woman with him, and was carelessly pulling her along by her arm. This did not bode well.

"So, this woman was the 'item' you left to go fetch? What would you need someone like her for?" Playing the fool came as naturally to me as breathing. I knew through harsh experience that in the end denying the truth never made it go away. Far from it, in fact it often served only to make things worse, but I could not help it. There was only one reason Assassin would bring in an unconscious woman back with it: to use her as a sacrifice. As the twelfth of Charlemagne's paladins, this certainly went against everything I stood for in life. I used to rescue women in similar situations to this, so finding myself on the opposite side of the divide was not amusing in the least. Was I going to just sit here and let Assassin kill this woman? Even for the sake of my Master? "Seriously, is this absolutely necessary? I mean, I'm sure there's another way we could do this. Why don't we just put her back where you found her? I know that might be difficult, what with that stumpy arm of yours, but-"

"Cease your prATTling. In order to save your precIOus Master I hAVE need of prana, fuel that nEITHer you nor the boy can provide." With a clack the Servant bit into its thumb hard enough to draw blood, using the appendage to sketch out a strange design on the stone floor. It looked not unlike a pentagram used in orthodox spellcasting, but was distorted as if seen through the reflection of a moving stream. "ReTREIving one who has gone to walk the sands is nEVer an easy task."

"'Walk the sands?'" Was that literal, or some kind of metaphor? I wasn't all that good at metaphors. In fact, if there were any kinds of wordplay I was actually any good at it had to be innuendo and double-entendres. "What do you mean by tha…?"

Reaching into its robe, Assassin pulled out a worn-looking wooden bowl and my question died on my lips. Even from the other side of the cave I could sense death radiating from that mundane appliance. It was no Noble Phantasm, or even something that had ascended alongside the Servant like my sword, but whatever it was, it had played a part in the deaths of countless. Seeing that, I knew if I wanted to stop this I would have to do it now. Yet, I would not. I would follow my heart and protect and serve Master as well as I was able.

Placing the bowl at the rightmost tip of the pentagram Assassin pulled the still slumbering woman over its lip and, with a deft motion of its wrist, slit her throat with a black knife and poured her lifeblood into the crucible. I did my best to hide my revulsion over the callous act, but I wasn't sure I succeeded.

"His soul has gONe to walk the dead lake-shores of the Rub' al Khali, cALLed into service by the _detested thing_." Carelessly tossing the newly-made corpse to the side, Assassin once again pulled out one of its knives. Instead of using it to cut into any flesh however, the knife seemed to simply liquefy and pour into the bowl alongside the blood. "He is wELL on his way to becoming one of the white mAskED figures that act as acOLytes and vessels to what my ancestors called Kaiwan, Rephan, or, once they learned of its true nATure from decipherING texts of the Xanthic Folio, simply the _detested thing_. They DARed not call it anything else, for spEAKIng its true name, the nAME given to it after that city long fallen, invites only diSASter." Pausing to let out a raspy laugh that quickly devolved into a wet cough, Assassin proceeded to pour the contents of the bowl onto the cave floor whilst mumbling something that hurt my ears just listening to. However, instead of spilling into a formless puddle like I had expected, the liquid metal started writhing like a clump of maggots within the pentagram and began flowing into a strange shape resembling nothing more the veins of a leaf. "I have hEARd many a tale about this being in my yOUth and had hoped that I'd never have the fORTUne to encounter any trace of its existENce."

"But why Master? Why has a monster like that possessed him?"

"Why, you ask?" Inspecting its handiwork, a small blood-red token no larger than a denarius, Assassin simply let out a snort. "There's no rEAL reason for it, there never is. Your Master is practicALLy an open door for any MALignant spirit to come strolling through. I'm honESTly surprised it's taken this long for sOMething of this sort to happen. As for why thIS being specificaALLy? It appears that sOMEone has taken adVANtage of the War, and the stress it puts on reALity, to slip in his own ritual. I'd point my finger at Caster, but that is merely an assUMPtion as no one besides an ancient magus would be inSANe enough to call upon something like this. Kikiki, though I'm ONe to talk, I suppose."

I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear the last bit, or see the way the Servant glanced at its bound arm as it spoke, so I just nodded dumbly.

Walking over to my Master, whose condition had worsened to the point that he seemed to be made more of cloth than flesh, Assassin deftly pulled a small nub off the back of the token. Upon closer inspection, it appeared that the small charm was actually an earring of some sort, as evidenced by the small needle sticking out of the end of its 'stem'. Without any further fanfare, Assassin quickly lanced the small earring through Master's right earlobe, capping it in place with the nub. In an instant, the ragged fabric extruding from my Master's body began to recede, slowly crawling its way back to being pink flesh. Whatever bling that Assassin had decided to decorate Master with, it was effective.

"The Elder Sign should supprESS the worst of the symptoms, at least temporarily, though it will do nothing for the Reality Marble slowly encROACHing on the city as he isn't its only source." What was an Elder Sign (I could literally hear the capital letters) and…wait, what was that about a Reality Marble? What the hell was Assassin talking about? I asked/demanded as much, but the Servant was too deep in its own thoughts to notice or care. Before it got to the point where I was considering taking out my sword again to get it to talk, Assassin seemed to remember it wasn't alone. "Your Master should be safe for the time being, though cannot vouch for his sanity at this point. The fact that he hasn't woken up and stARTEd raving can be taken as a good sign however, kikikiki, so I hope you can keep up your end of the dEAl when he wakes."

Looking over at my Master, his tattered clothing and unnaturally pale skin now the only trace of the ordeal he went through, then glancing at the corpse remorselessly discarded by the cave entrance, I hoped he wouldn't hate me for what I had to do for him.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Well, this definitely threw a wrench in her plans. While she could still sense that her Archer was still around, the marks on her arm proved this, her Servant had yet to turn up. Rin couldn't keep an agitated sigh from escaping her lips as she nursed on a cup of lukewarm tea she had made an hour earlier. She only had one Command Seal left, not something she could relinquish easily, even if it was to return her servant to her side. And for some strange reason, there was something muffling her link with him, preventing her from ascertaining his location.

This would not stand. She may have failed in summoning Saber, and the Servant she ended up with may have been insufferable, but these were nothing but bumps in the road to winning the War. Even Archer's disappearance would not stop her. Of this, if nothing else, Rin was sure.

**The Three T's of Victory**

Whatever I had expected would happen when Master woke it certainly wasn't for him to start tearing at his own body, rivulets of blood running down his arms where his unnaturally sharp fingernails pierced the skin deep into the muscle. The sun had just come over the horizon when I heard a stirring from beside me. Assassin had taken to resting further inside the cave, claiming that the night had exhausted it whilst refusing to answer any further questions, so that left my Master being the only probable cause.

Upon seeing my Master in such a state, I did all I could to restrain him. He fought me tooth and nail the whole time, even going for my jugular with his bloodied incisors. Trying to talk him down did nothing but make him spit more of that gibberish from yesterday (along with plenty of regular spit) at me. Damn it all, I knew it was too much to ask for that his mind would come out unscathed from the daemon encroaching on his soul, but this was worse than I had feared.

And while I had certainly hoped he'd one day assault me, this was definitely not what I meant. Although, I could not deny that I deserved this for what I had let happen here. The pain I felt from having my Master's grasping fingers furrow through the exposed skin of my face, bypassing my natural resistances, was naught but punishment earned. Punishment I would take gracefully. But not Master, he had nothing to call this fate upon him. I would not let him come to any more harm, especially from himself.

Eventually, after a few minutes of this, he started to calm down. While Master was still far from coherent, mumbling strange words under his breath, at least he wasn't trying to harm both himself and me. His mutterings growing quieter and quieter, Master once again slipped into a fitful slumber. Assassin had yet to return from deeper within the cave, and I was loathe to leave my Master unattended, so I just sat at his side once again.

_"Let the red dawn surmise_

_What we shall do,_

_When this blue starlight dies_

_And all is through"_

As my eyes were closing of their own accord and I began drifting off, the prana I had been receiving from Master once again reduced to a trickle by Assassin's charm, strange words spoken in an even stranger – and almost musical – cadence made its way to my ears. Despite what I had feared, the sorrowful tune had not originated from my Master.

The situation was far, far worse.

"_Why, why have you done this to me?"_

With the gash in her neck grinning dementedly at me, the woman Assassin had killed – _the woman I had let be killed_ – lunged.

_[Break]_

And there it all is. Like most of the chapters I write, it's been patched together over months of on-and-off writing.

In the King in Yellow tradition, Hastur is often equated to the god Kaiwan. Kaiwan (or Rephan) was a star god worshiped by the ancient Israeli apostates, most likely from intermingling with the Egyptians, Assyrians, the Akkadian Empire etc. [And this isn't the first instance of such a thing happening; ex. Moloch, which is often mentioned alongside Kaiwan.] Evidence suggests that it's a bastardization of the Roman Saturn, as both the names Kaiwan and Rephan have their origins there, however indirect (one Akkadian, the other Egyptian). The _detested thing_(disgusting thing/abominable thing) is from the Hebrew tradition of either tacking on, and/or altering of a god's name to sound like, the verb _shiqqus_ which means just that, in order to show disdain for the god and to try to discourage worship of it...or something.

The reference 'to walk the sands' is taken from the short-story In Carcosa, the King by Gary Vehar, where a group of archeologists discover the ruins of a city in a dry lake bed in the Rub-al-Kali (Arabia). Members of the team begin disappearing, while an ever-increasing number of white-masked figures can be seen stalking the desert.

The little poem at the end was taken directly from The King in Yellow (book), and may or may not be a part of the titular play.


End file.
